*sorry for the inconvenience*
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
I have got insects all over the room,on the wall,in my milk I drink milk,yea so?One tried getting inside my eye just now!A whole family of insect on the monitor,on my book...in every friggin place but outside the room.And hell!They bite!!
Forget all non-violence!Down with all insects,and my EVE book says human population will explode the Earth.I'll bring out the intrigant girl within me and spray insecticides all over!This will be a genocidal attack.
I'll be attacked by the paparazzi and I'll hit the headlines of the insect world.They'll kiss my feet,those damned insects and pray for their life,I'll bring the Nazism in their world.
Now I must leave the room;they already started revolting against whatever I typed now.Those godammed insects will die a painful death.Know this,sinners,Diwali isn't too far!Haw haw haw!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
S:Wanna try pizza?
S:Cakes R Us?
Then someone's hand brushed against my arm.Pretty normal,in a market.Next,the hand-guy comments something in Bong that we don't get and so we avert our eyes and thoughts.We're pretty used to, 'Hey gorgeous!','Hey blah!',Hey bleh!' So right,we keep walking and S espied from the corner of her eye that the man was still following.
Description of the fucktard:Eww!Ugly!Light coloured clothes that turned black.Ugh!
So yea,he takes the left turn and we take the right.How smart of us!And et viola!He noticed that we took a different turn and changed his way and came darting towards us,albeit at a distance of three feet.Let's just say,we were trying to be far.
S:Omg!Where's the shop,dammit!Let's get in somewhere!!
We already got into that adrenalin-rush phase by then.And then dumbass me suggested a new idea:
Me:Let's stop at a place and see if he stops too.
So we pause as if window-shopping coconuts and straws heaped beside a car and I turn around.Impressive,he stopped too.And then what I saw was way to gross,he slid his hand inside his pant and sent kisses in the air.*gasps*
Me:Holy fucking shit!
Me:Run for your life,someone just got something errected.
Me:He's masturbating,run!*grabbed her hand*
And then our eyes-blinded,our legs gave up and we ran for our lives,between fat women,between paunches,stepped on dung,stopped cars,suspensed traffic,gathered obnoxious curses,came back home,put the pillow on my face and pondered,how much would it take to amputate it and feed that to the asshole!
Another incident that happened to A:
She was walking back home after writing her ISC exams and an old man[say 40] riding a bicycle,stopped beside her and said:Wanna see?See![Dekhte chow?Dekho!]And showed it. :O
Almost same kind of shit happened to M and U.For S and me,it was the first time.Now I learnt a lesson:A knee in need,is a knee indeed.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
This household helper comes running breathlessly to tell me about the assumed-by-her-apocalypse-day.She tells me breathlessly lookattheskysomething'swrongwithit.So with perfect agility I run up to my terrace tolookatthedefectivesky.If you live under the Silly sky,you must have had convulsions to have felt the donnern Sie und Blitz outside your window last night.Those nocturnal species who've been yapping over the phone must have dropped their phones out of fear and those who were under the spell of slumber woke up too,to see a diwali night-sky.P.s.-The lonely kind like me,tried to hug their mattresses too,I guess,for me it was my bedsheet.I wasn't scared just shaken because of the sound and one second later I realized that bedsheet isn't a hug-able thing.Ayway,back to the defectivesky,I go up and see convivial,brilliant looking sky sheesh!what a waste of energy.There was a rainbow,yes I HAVE seeen a rainbow,plenty of times before and the rainbow encircled the sun....erm..like a erm..teddy bear eye.A ball and a bigger ball,you get the drift of it,right?So yea,that's a new thing,I have never seen a teddy-bear eye in the sky.No beautiful sky,no romantic weather can bring out the poetic pleonasm within me whatsoever...so yea,instead of a luminary necklace around the sun,I'll use a teddybear eye to give you a vivid description.Anyway,you gotta be a jobless loser to be reading a description of a rainbow,like it were a kindergarten essay.Also,some aircraft left a line of smoke behind it in the stratosphere.So that's the defective part,I presume and to add to that,the etymological scientific experimentation that is likely to take place today has chewed upon people's brains.Poor people.Anyway,I clicked the picture of the sky with my blinding eyes,for it was so sunny outside though cloudy.Weird,huh?
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Only if this smarty pants were to be 30 years younger,I wouldn't be searching for a date all over the galaxy.No aliens for me,no dumbass for me,only smart ass.Features you?Contact me.
But no,you must be married,engaged,gay,etc.Do me a favour?Just die!
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Anyway,there was this folk dance competition yesterday and we volunteered to watch it so that we'd mishsh our mathsh clashsh.We did miss.How frustrated can a person get when she says,"Let's attend the Maths class instead." All the dances were THAT bad.
Also,a human had come to advertise the availability of the illustrated version of Oxford dictionary.He spent five minutes in cleaning his teeth with his tongue.Two minutes to fake an American accent.One minute to be laughed at. :D
Today,there was a classical solo dance competition.There was this girl in red who almost seduced some people.That was when I kept reminding myself "You are straight like a ruler." and narrowly escaped it.The song went like "Mohe Chum Le..." and I swear most had an orgasm.Okhay,exaggerating.But you get the idea,right?
Then there was this girl who danced...ermm..beautifully.Let's call her Snehashish Agarwal* and assume that the name is for a female.She kicked,punched,made weird faces,jumped about like a bunny rabbit.And I've decided to become a dancer now.Even I can do all that.
S looked pretty!She always does.Too bad she came out third.But still,that was something!
A retired art/craft teacher was invited for judgment.In those days she was famous for, "Sister,pot in my hand,pot in the ground,pot pottaash!" and "I have a husband,two male sons and a female daughter." Those were bright,colourful days.And with the microphone in her hand gripped tightly lest it pottaashes she said things like "All are winners,losers not heart,I miss you,I thank Sister,all of you my,the mudra was nice,very nice.Thank you." *claps* "I'd like to thank sister,my all of you,I miss you.The dances was nice." *claps* "I'd like to thank my staff.I love it here." *claps* "Tahole ekhon Bangla tei boli,mon theke...." *yawns* Question:Should we clap?
Anyway,after giving the translated speech,off the stage she went.I am not a perfectionist,I don't even hate humans who talk like that...but how the hell can you prevent yourself from laughing when a 'pot pottaashes'?
*Name changed for ensuring the longevity of my life
Friday, August 22, 2008
Sacks can't challege paper and you can't challenge me.Paper maketh cartoon and sacks maketh ermm...errm..loser cartoons. :D
Anyway,this is the unfinished mascot,her monologue is "Khadi condom is my birthright and I shall have it." If you have a bright brain,you may suggest better lines which you won't because Green Revolution destroyed the brain power.Sacks can't make Bangladeshi Flags,can they? :D Okhay,save rubber trees,enjoy it! ;)
Disclaimer:The characters who are the mastermind behind the loser ideas and the events depicted here are fictitious.Any similarity to actual dumbasses living or dead,is purely co-incidental.
Disclaimer 2:This post is for fun!Cheers!
Update:I changed the blog template.Blame my passionate state of mind.I'll miss the glittering fairy though...I'll put up her picture here.My tribute.
This template has 3 sidebars...that's supposed to be better than one.And it has got all that I wanted,a black base,and my recent passionate attack[read:red] and butterflies,for those who are close friends,old friends...they'll know that butterflies have been my favourite.Okhay,now,the final question:What do you think about this template?Think and see and you can tell me "I love it!" in the bus stand or in the class.No other comment other than "I love it!" will be accepted,morons.
See you in the display board competition tomorrow then.Luck.Love.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Guess what?My mother was getting ready for work and T.D. throws up if she gets to see such dirty thing,hot out of the stomach...SO they both went like,"Okhay you clean it."It's not even a request!It's like "We aren't cleaning it,so you'll have to do it,unless you want it to look like a Railway Station's Lavatory."And I DID!*pukes again* And my mum comes and pours water over the remaining yellow-yellow thing *gets hospitalized* so that it doesn't get sticky and TD goes like,"What will the mother-in-law say if you can't do such things?" Why?WHY?Jesus,WHY?
AND I CLEAN THAT TOO!I MOP THE FLOOR!And then I try to sprinkle the Phenyl and wow!Someone has removed the stopper so I pour a lot of phenyl instead and clean up the phenyl too and my house has started to smell like a Government Hospital where there's only phenyl and no doctor.
Monday, August 18, 2008
So what if it's more important for him to sleep soundly then to guard the house?
So what if he's small?
So what if he eats up insects?
So what if he's not photogenic?
So what if he's looking like a rat here?
Then so fucking what?
He's the best one in the world.
And I think he looks like a prince!
Today is V.A's birthday and the first thing I did in the morning was to wish her a belated birthday.That was me.
Update:I am/was really sick which is why I had decided to skip the party which I'd almost do if they wouldn't flood me with calls...incessant calls.It felt like it was my birthday and so if I wouldn't be there then "No party children,go home" kinda situation would take place,so I went; the birthday girl looked pretty so did M and U and I looked like a slug,like I always do.Oh wait,U:You're looking like,you are blushing for no apparent reason.Yes,so a blushing slug.Cute!And the rest is a secret,but a readable secret nevertheless.
Hint:If it's a prime minister,you elect for clothes you ________?That word is a hint.
So okhay,we go to a bar cum lounge and guess what we end up going inside the bar which has bar dancers,instead of the lounge.And then with each step more and more sniggers reach my ears and I go like "Ram Ram" .Anyway a waiter says,"Ma'am....family lounge?"And we all say YES! and we come to the lounge a breathe freely.For the first time in my life I saw a bar dancer and she was vulgar.Okhay,next we drink beer. =P Then I try mint food to get rid of the smell.Then we go out after getting drunk and we head towards another resto,we eat nice food there,then eat/drunk slush and then a muffin and head towards home.I was on a rickshaw then,incase you didn't know Bangladesh has the highest number of rickshaw and Silly,the second highest.We made a record.YAY!So yea whatever,I was in a rick and some good looking,tall,decent,literate guy suddenly came beside the rick,riding slowly to keep pace.And he spoke good English,didn't sound like he was trying for the first time.
Stranger:May we talk for a while somewhere?
Me:*No-nonsense-look*We may not.
Stranger:Please?A conversation?It won't take long!
Me:*still holding that no-nonsense-look*Look,I'm seeing someone and I think our conversation is SO over!
Then it started raining.This was the first time a decent looking,educated person did that.I whine so much in the blog and when it's time for action I become an over-smart actor who's seeing someone.Christ,why?Why am I so stereotype?
Anyway,thanks for that ego boost Mr. Whatever-your-name-is.You convinced me that every slug has its day! :)
Friday, August 15, 2008
We didn't have our parade.Bwafafahaha!Call that a weather malfunctioning.
We had Fr.Erwin as our chief guest.He said things like "Independence shouldn't be like my untamed hair,it should be like your neatly tied hair." Right.Whatever that meant.He's a nice man though very unsuccessful,for his jokes are usually accompanied by grunts more than laughs. =))
Anyway,we bought gifts for V.A.'s birthday.
Why I clicked the picture is because that bow on the gift makes it look like an insect.Take a closer look,see if you can figure out the antennae.Also,the card is very apt for the situation.I hope it's more than a pint or two for me.We bought that casket because we had extra money with us.Best part is everything was bought according to my choice.I don't mean to brag...well,I'll just boast.I BUY THE BEST THINGS!I think I'm done. :D
THAT'S PROBABLY THE BEST PART OF MY LIFE!Papa brought those.Are you envious?Tell me you are!Hence,from today,the synonym for luck will be 'J'.I can't believe all these will make into my mouth! :O You should. :D
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
From today everytime I call you a 'Hebron' you'll read it as 'asshole'.
That's right,I make my own synonyms.
The parade pratice for 15th August got started.We stand height-wise in a descending order.
The first time we gave it a try,it started drizzling,then downpouring!
And for the first time,in a long time I bowed my head and prayed and sang "God is so good".
Next time the old fellow ditched me.
When I say parade practise,you needn't laugh at me,I do it pretty well.You should see a few people marching.I really can't seem to figure out HOW THE HELL THEY MANAGE TO SHAKE THEIR BUTTS SO MUCH WHILE MARCHING!
But that isn't much of a problem.The Hebron who stands behind me is!
Hebron:Eh,listen!When you go wrong,I'll say "Hey you!You are going wrong!"
What the fuck is that,now?
Hebron:Don't talk!That is the rule!
Hebron:Hey you!Jog!That is the rule!
Hebron:Hey you!Don't sit here!
Hebron:No,you shouldn't THAT is the rule!
Me:Fuck you!Fuck your rules!
Hebron:Hey you!You're taller than her,stand before her.
Hebron:That is the rule!
Me:*dies and goes to Heaven and punches God for creating the Hebron!*
You get the hint?YOU GET THE HINT AT ALL?!
Also,we'll have our display board competition sometime in the next week.Topic is AIDS.
These are the various ideas from various people:
P:There'll be two charts-one on the advantages of AIDS,one on the disadvantages.
D:We can draw in a chart too.One man will cut his hand and the girlfriend will suck the blood and get AIDS.
D:Or we can draw sexual intercourse too. =/
Me:Yes,in a black chart paper we'll write "Here two people are having sex in the dark.You can't see it pervert!" =))
A:No!We'll draw prostitutes!*giving an i'm-so-intelligent look*
Me:Somebody kill this cracker!
Sunday, August 10, 2008
1.There was a dance presented by Air Force School yesterday which was supposedly based on "Prevent Water Pollution".A few steel coloured boys came and danced,one had a flabby chest. :P
Then two copper coloured girls danced and then there was a long blue cloth and lastly the fisherwomen came and the flabby chest fell in love and I pressed my hands to my ears because they created noise pollution.
2.DBS dancers are boneless chickens.
3.We secured the 2nd position...the first is out of consideration.It's reserved for cheater cocks EXCLUSIVELY!
4.People find the MC cute.Haw!
psst!ppsst!I think the Mc is cute too. =P
5.This was the last Fest for me. :'(
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
I didn't go to school.*turns devil*
I enjoyed a first class edible Friendship Day.If only friendship was edible.Bands were ruled out for me this year.Just edible material,so I have got a whole granary here.
I have learnt Pashto.
See-->Da ze ziba watan,da ze ma dada watan.And if the English translation wouldn't be written,I'd think that it means:The ze ziba country,The ze mother-brother country.
There has been a phone call recently from a caller who loves pretending that he's an animal.So it's entertaining and I don't hang up anymore instead encourage him to bring out his undaar ki aatma. I can bring out those sounds better than him though.
I've been watching a lot of cooking shows,I don't cook any better now however.Cooking the food is easy:Boil the food,don't mix spices,cook with wine and things you can't think of eating with,make it the least edible.....and you've made your first non-Indian food.Smart,eh?
As for the woman in the previous doodle-post--I've mugged up the fact that this woman is a sad,pathetic women.It's a birth defect.Her questions and comments are replied to with grunts and smirks these days and if the next post is captioned as "I got suspended for a week from school" don't look suprised at all.
Scouts' Fiesta now known as Bosco Fest will be held on this Saturday.Wheee!If you're reading this Sayan dada you can expect to read some facts on the current 'pathetic-loser-generation' of Boscoites thriving in the school on this Saturday.The school's running out of cute single UHOs[read:Unidentified Handsome Objects]. =P
And anyway,you know that I've my eyes only on you. *guess guess* ;)
Also,I bought a new diary for my journal entries and it's so cool!I can't take my eyes off it.So now it's famously known as my new bride in my household.Courtesy:Mum.
It looks like a chess board-my new bride,my noor.
That was her.
Con amore. (:
Monday, July 28, 2008
Today was some Naxalite's birthday.Happy Birthday!Every year we get a holiday on this day.Today we didn't.
My bus leaves at 8:00 a.m. Going to the bus stand takes 15 minutes.
U:hey we've got school or not?
U:we got to go to school??
Me:NO!Nobody went to school.
U:I think we'll have school,i'm pressing my clothes.
Mum:You have school.The neighbour kid went away.
But there was an option there,she could have asked me not to go to school because there was no way that I'd make it to the bus stand on time.But no,she pressed my clothes,gave me a cup of pomegranate juice in a square shaped cup[wtf?].Before that thing could make it to my mouth,it settled comfortable on my shirt.Wonderful!
We both shouted at each other,but she'd send me to school anyhow.My rascal sister feigned sickness and stayed back.*swears*
By the time,I was done[without taking a shower] it was 8:05 a.m. ....but I still had to go to school,innit?
So a neighbour gave me a ride on his 'tuk tuk tuk tuktuktuktuk..trrrr' kind of bike.That was the sound.I couldn't miss it,could I?
And I made it to school.
S:Someone just got up from the bed and came to school.
Me:STFU! *swears more*
So,this is how I do it.This is the art.This is it.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
BOP is ALWAYS balanced.I'll tell you why;because credit has to be equal to debit EVERY fucking time.When trade is carried on without considering the BOP account it's autonomous receipts[for me]and payments.When BOP>BOT,my relatively tolerant mouth can't shut the fuck up,only 'just' though.Hence to balance my trade,I shove up a bomb in your ass,and you blow up.That is accomodating capital outflow.Fair enough,my ears blew up because of your affinity towards 'you do it everytime.'
Someone mail my blog link to this inept,narcissist bitch!
Now only if I were a real millitant.Only Alice gets to comment here,I learnt up too much of Economics,eh?
Friday, July 25, 2008
I think:Frankly speaking,I don't think.Logically speaking,I can't!
I know:That you can't match upto my calibre.
I want:A my driving license,please!Daddy are you reading?
I have:A dysfunctional family. :P
I wish:That the wishes upon a shooting star would come true.
I feel:That it'd be best if I'd get to be an Empress of any sort.
I hear:Ranjita's bullshit.No one listens to her anyway.
I smell:Shadow and Royal Mirage and Jovan,for this month atleast!
I crave:For a date? =/
I search:For an adventurous date?
I wonder:If I'll even get to see Egypt.
I regret:Going to school.
I ache:For Shillong,right now.
I am not:The person who you want to be like.
I sing:In the bathroom.
I cry:Never in public[M,are you reading this?]
I don't always:Crack laughable jokes.
I fight:With bullies.
I write:Stories and dissertations for school.
I lose:My temper mostly.
I never:Hit anyone.
I confuse:People confuse me.
I listen:To nothing that Syrup will be interested in.
I can usually be found:In school mostly! :(
I need:MY OWN CAR!
I am happy about:Whatever is happening,right now.
I imagine:Nice things that aren't presentable,else I'd be Salman Rushdie.
I tag:M and Sammok.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
M:Ah poor you,harmless creature!
M:aye and stingless too.
So if you got a hint(which obviously you didn't,know-it-all) I wasn't talking today,I just fucking couldn't talk!I can cut myself from talking,but not bickering about laughable issue[read:human masterpieces].So I carried a notebook and a pen to write down comments AND today we bade farewell to Sr.Sheena,aha!what an oppurtunity to scrutinize the farewell program and write down pages of criticism.If you say that critics are generally a group of people who don't know how to do something,you are absolutely right,those dumbasses just don't know how to criticize at all!How disappointing!
So I'm typing down a few comments off my notebook.
On the Tamil song(no offence meant,but since I don't know a thing about this language,the song sounded outright funny to me):They are saying the same word throughout or what?
On the song "Seasons in the sun" by class 10[read:idiots]:
Me(at the starting):It's as exciting as unwrapping gifts-this song.
M:It's nt DAT "hard to die" if you are listening to it(if you don't know,the lyrics goes like Goodbye my friend,'it's hard to die')
On the suitcase gifted to her:Suitcase symbolizes,"Pack up and move on,baby!"
On our appalause at her entry:Vottay cunning plan!We are clapping because it is her Farewell Day!
On Sr.Margarette's "Bye Bye Sheena,I love you and I'll miss you" speech:
M:According to Babylon(the teacher who was anouncing)we'll miss her @ home,can u guess wen?
Wen I'm flushing the toilet!(oh yea!and potty too,such a potty woman!)
When bored to the core(Topic:Some random man,what else is interesting during those moments?):
Me:They are kameena because they lose their insight with their eyesight!
Me:It's generally noobs who beat us in this game!
M:Fuck!I never noticed!
When Sheena starts singing a song:
U:We are listening to poorly composed opera.Tch tch.
Okhay so that was it,Sheena's song is the kind that is appropriate for the item "Ghost Ballet" by Ghost Dukhiyari Bhatakti Huyi Aatma for "Sssh,Phir Koi Hai".
Just because I wasn't talking everyone else started acting-talking like me.See my power?And when I said a word instead of writing by chance,they were like,"OMG!You are talking!"
Well,biologically speaking,I possess a vocal chord so I can't pretend to be dumb 24*7.
Incase you are thinking,I'm a new born baby who's learning to talk,well,I'm not.
No,not even a dare.
I fucking chewed up my tongue and lips while chewing dinner,innit?
Monday, June 23, 2008
This is the second...errm...romantic fling.The first wasn't a fling,or a bad choice,or a case of getting ditched or ditching or the term called relationship for that matter.Nothing was wrong there except myself.I have never embarassed myself so much in my life and I donot regret it.Also,i have learnt not to learn from my past mistakes so I haven't forgotten anything,haven't moved on,haven't cursed,etc.
So,whatever,this is the second.The difference is,he is beyond the coolest limit of appearing cool.You'll feel like being in a deep freezer,he's tall,he's much older than me and we don't know each other and are never going to see each other.
He wore a decent shirt with green[a nice soothing green] pinstripes all over,nice jeans.He wore his pants on his waist well above his *ahem* dick. :D No bling.A watch and a cigar in his hand,the other had a malboro packet.Clean shaven.Fair.Nice hair,unkempt though..AND HE IS THE COOLEST BONG I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY WHOLE LIFE!Literally,i mean it!He is a bong i know it,his face said it and his friend's face also said it.In all probability his surname is Sen or Bannerjee or Chatterjee or...Purkayastha.Generally,people with those surnames look a li'l too different.He's 20-21 years old...i guess.Roughly,he looked like this.
I drooled at him for 5 whole minutes,maybe with my tongue out,saliva dripping down,like a hungry dog.But I didn't do it first,I was staring at crow which looked electrocuted and then I turn around and see that some uber-cool person is staring.For all i know,it must have been the crow that he was staring at,but I'm just pleased to have seen him face to face.I thanked the crow and thanked God,even 15 seconds will work out fine,I swear!Possibilities are,I'll never see him again,he's committed,he wants to be a priest,I'll be a nun,everyone else will go to pubs,everyone!Fraands,friends,best friends,cousins,neighbours,best neighbours,dumbass classmates,don classmates,digital friends,digital love,digital brother,biological sister,possibly my doggie too,every friggin person i'm associated with.
D'oh!Please good Lord,let the image stay behind for a few more days,please!Only a few more days.
Signed with love,forever true.-J
Friday, June 20, 2008
and to encapsulate the bad day,it started off with those cyclonic rains.It must have been raining like mad in Darj. since it was freaking cold here and thanks to my typical authoritarian mum and geek friends,I didn't bunk school.My mother never asked me NOT TO ATTEND SCHOOL,infact if I had 2 seconds left to live life,she'd rather make me spend that time immersed in books,IN SCHOOL!I called my geek friend.It went like this:
Me:Hallo?Going to school.
Geek:My mother is asking me not to go....but
Me:Yea whose butt?
Geek:We'll miss maths class.
So I go to school,get a seat next to the window and when I stand up,for a few seconds my ass feels damp and skirt feels wet.I thought I had peed.And the butt never dried neither the skirt.I've had goosebumps all day long,yearning for a blanket.Half of the class was empty,so the teachers exempted us from teaching.My eyelids rallied for a shutdown.Then S insisted that we go to watch Chronicles of Narnia.I come back home,get my butt dried and ring mum to ask if she'd let me go.Everything was set,I just had to enquire if my Maths tutor could teach some other day instead of today and he says,No,you can't go.It's a wonderful day to solve problems,exactly,solve mine,just teach some other day.Today we'll solve nice questions,Ooooh!I'm so excited!!BUT if you want to go,I don't have anything to say.Okhay I get it.
So I get the plan cancelled,today was the last date,no Narnia for me.
ALSO,I have been wanting to talk to a few people godammed much...but cold wars prevent me.So today I mugged up that the antonym of love is indifference,not hate.
Oh wait,I almost missed something,last night,I prepared to watch the soccer match between Germany and Portugal and my cable connection walked right out on me,NOBODY dumped me that bad!Those are the times when I think thoda aur wish karo,dish karo.
Okhay bye,may you share the same fate as mine.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Friend:Have you read Love Story,Jubs?
Me:and since when have you started reading?
Friend:Did you read it,Jubs?
Me:A 'REALLY' no.
I read this love story named 'Love Story'.In the class.Reading...reading and still reading,now giggling a little too.Reading the 'physical initmation' scene.....and then the teacher sees a book with a lot of hearts in the cover,in my hand,a rare situation and demands to see it.Very nice,Jubs,eat shit!Turns to read the very page that I was reading,aha!physical intimacy!Die,Jubs,just die!I just keep pretending that I'm invisible,that no one can see me.M almost dies laughing beside me.What's so horrendously funny anyway?Buddha loves and Jesus saves.The teacher is some unmarried young lady and it was a free period.The last time I got caught reading a book was in Maths class,which wasn't a free period(which never is a free period)and he didn't return the book for almost a month.Everyone has her own idiosyncratic way to cope up with different situations,mine-laugh till you get tears.
Question:What kind of future do you dream for your coutry?
What others have said:I want India to be the richest country,don't want no shitty terrorism in it,don't want no poverty in it,don't want no bad politics in it.I want India to be the best country.
What I wrote:I want India to be hygenic,so that next time when I read a book written by an American which mentions India,it necessarily isn't linked to having given the protagonist a diarrhoea.Nothing funny,even there.I really want it that way.
Tea:What is a simple sentence?
The best possible answer:There are three kind of sentences-simple,complex and compound.Now beat that!
The best possible reply to that:Impressive non sequitur,smarty pants!Write down impositions,NOW!
The best possible answer back on your mind:How cogent,Watson!
The few messages that I receive daily in my Gracious Phone:
1.Bitch XD.Vaaary funny!
3.you know the rest,sweet cake,why don't you just cooperate and send some 'I love you'?When will you ever learn to cooperate,you bastard?when?
Bottomline:You don't want to be me,honey,never!You won't even want to send a 'I love You' message to me.But don't fuck off,anyway.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
So here goes the Emo profiles:
Name:♥Deadrose♥/ *insert any other sad name with two hearts on either side*
Introduction:I am odd.I ♥ bubble wraps =]
Some interesting introductory message i had stumbled upon : For all those Emos who keep unoriginal emo pics,atleast keep your original emo pics yaar,i just hate unoriginal things!
Interest:Gore and more gore,i ♥ it!
Song: I wuv avril!i <3>
Okhay so that's it,enough of acting snobbish,forgive me Mr.God,forgive me album owner..no harm intended.One of those who read my gobbeldegook can volunteer to become my body guard!PLEASE DO IT!
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Username:@nKit@ RuleZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!/I h@\/e Ma oWn @tTiTuDe!!
About me:I m da koolest girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!/
Favourite Book: One night @ call centre!!!!!!!!!!!!
Favourite Actor: Leonardo Di Caprio!!!!Daniel Radcliffeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!i luv him!!!!!!!
Favourite Song:Titanic song!!!!!!!!!!!
When you start conversing with one of them:
DD:hehe,good jokeeeeee!!!nywayzzz wat's upppppppp?????!!!
DD:watzzz ur name??????
DD:do u hav a phone????i hav ma phone,wat's ur numbr,plzzzzzzzz????????
You:oh,crap. =/ bye!
DD:no,plzzzzzzzz!did u angry on me,wat's ma falt?????????plzzz dun gooooooo!!!wat's ma falt??
Pitures you see in their albums:
1.A shirtless John Abhraham,captioned "kooooooooooooool!!!!"
2.Some other random but cute looking model wearing some suit,captioned "sweeeeeeetttt!!!"
3.Some beautiful woman,captioned "ma luvvvvvvvvv!!!"
4.Picture of the person[generally 'himself'] showing the finger,captioned 'attituuuddeee!!!"
5.Picture of the person with his friends,all sitting on their own bikes,captioned "DHOOOOMMMM!!!"
6.A picture of their N95,which their dad gifted them and also went bankrupt after that,captioned "ma cellll!!!!"
7.Picture of a laptop which they generally pass as theirs,with the orkut window open,captioned "ma laptoppp!!!!"
6.Picture of their dads and brother sitting beside the laptop,captioned,"ma daddddddd n brooo,so kooool naaa!!!!"
7.Generally,a picture of themselves,shirtless,captioned "thiz is meeeeeeee!!!!!"
1.They haven't ever read any book except one night @ call centre,and I seriouslydoubt if they can REALLY read!
1.5.Yea okhay,u r da kewwwlezzzzzzzttttttttt!!
2.They haven't watched any English film except Titanic,got no idea what other hollywood actors exist,except Leornardo[Blood Diamond isn't bad,by the way],got no idea how othersongs other than Titanic song sound like.
2.5.*insert your own set of slangs*
Next post will be on Emo profiles.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
An advice I love to love like I'd love my love which obviously I don't have to:
"My dad always said that you shouldn't lie cos you'll have to tell another ten lies to back it up.However,Hardjit'd taught me that if the back-up lies are good enough,then so fucking what?"
Random Things I Hate[100.105 Version]
Before you point me out that it was a smart idea,I figured that out pretty early.Much before someone actually penned it down,for the sake of it.I have learnt to loathe my private Maths class by now.I completely detest it.Solving out not-solvable problems in a graveyard is no fun especially when women with XXL sized bellies who keep watching Saas Bhi Kabhi Jamai Babu Thi and whatever follows next and complain that their household chores is a never ending job and men with bigger-than-their-faces moustache and bigger-than-themselves paunch sleep like dead donkeys while the galli-don steals there car keys with their kids between them,in a sweltering summer noon with no trace of rain-bearing clouds.Re-read the sentence,yes,it is big.
It's just the Prof. and me and the 80 kgs book with pages which say "500 different way to shit under the sky" or something like that,all you have to do is calculate.
A year back,it wasn't funnier but tolerable,yes,I'd take breaks from pretending to solve things and look at the oh-so-not-look-able boy,who techincally was older and shorter and looked like he would in his dad-hood years.Resembling a chimp in so many ways and so much hair to show *shudders*.He left the tution.Left me alone,alone with mosquitoes and books and a Prof.
So yea the whole point of describing this was that the thought of attending the overweening class gives me lachrymose eyes,you can water your plants well with the tears.Everyday Friday and Sunday i keep hoping that the alarm clock will ditch me.But then far from lending a tiny bit of succor it always wakes me up in the perfect[est] time!So this devil idee fixe grasped my unholy sinistral mind,duh!it is the best-est mind ever,I dream of nuddy pornstars signing autograph,I dream Aishwarya Rai's face getting eaten up by a three headed monster,the second mouth has SRK for having invested his fortune on Kewlkata Night Gowns,the third can have some random person whom I don't like that could be you too. So okhay,I set the alarm to ring an hour later,and I purposely wake up late, aww c'mon,it's the godammed alarm clock that did it!*innocent-est of all innocent looks*.
Next class,this is what happened:
Tee:What happened the last day?
Me:*realising that saying that the alarm walked right out on me wasn't an effective lie*I had..um...some umm...sort of skin disease,sir.. wtf?
Tee:whaa? :O what happened?show me?
"Hardjit'd got this another rudeboy rule,you see.The rule says that if you're having trouble explainin shit to your elders,especially to your parents,just start throwin in more complicated words and maybe even a bunch a capital letters an they'll just give up tryin to understand."
Me:uh-oh!Thing thing is up on my thigh sir,contagious,the dermatologist says.*confident look*
Tee:what's the name?
Me:oh...um..that thing...oh holy fucking shit!sir,that thing...basal cell....BCC..
For all I know that it's some kind of cancer, :D
Tee:oh,=/ huh?open up your book.
Me:Just to make sure* Do you like Biology,sir?
Tee:No,just Maths,'nuff said!Open up your book.
So yea,now you know why you should lie,and lie it well,re-read the bold sentences over and over again and you'll grow up to be cool like me,seriously,wtf?
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
You craved for all that since they called you fatso,in school and even now just to make sure your skeletons nudge you to ask other,"Am I looking fat?" And so you feel real nice when you are told,"Wow!You look thin[like a malnourished twig]" so skinny that your foetus wouldn't fit in your stomach.You often feel proud because you faint,it reminds you that you are thin.
You want to be a model. :)
And then you end up wearing this!Aren't you looking gorgeously dumb?
Only if that'd fortify you from being laughed at.Been there,done that?
Corrupted choice of clothes.Ingenious you,and you ingenious designer.so yea,sensible people are never going to look like 'whoops!-i'm-caught-in-the-middle'.No,never.
Happy Wearing Alien Clothes Day!
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Fair skinned Lovers,this is for you,though I'm not sure if any exists.
Dear White-skinned Lover(s),since you know it (now) that yetis can look cute,though they have a Gorkha dagger in their left hands (as in the 2nd picture),you'll be referred to as Yeti now[^_^].
You can always get a chilled drink for you and for me with the snow [in your right hand].
AND since I'm brown you can call me sasquatch,though I could do with a lighter shade of brown.
I have a chainsaw in my hand,so don't stray for other Cutequatches.
Okhay,enough of infinite stupidity,blame the pink blog of Niyara.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Thursday, May 8, 2008
I don't know why
They make me blue,
When I'm thinking of you
Maybe they want to cry,
As I walk on by Hiding my tears, in a world of good byes
Love during summer rain,
Causes no pain 'cause I'm looking back,
At you once again,
Memories crowding my mind,
You're one of a kind,
Life with out love, I'm helpless I'm dying.
As they slash in my window pain
I quiet like that,
I don't mind I've got no complaint
But I'm feeling fine watching the rythm of the rain falling down
Thursday, May 1, 2008
A conversation b/w me and Syrup.
J: today's may day.how can u work?
J: i'm like friggin pissed off.no school today
J: i haven't anything else to do except going to school
seraph: anywho how is tht little fella?
J: i hate staying at home
J: juno is okhayJ: and there are like 3 tests a week
J: and u gotta get a 20 outta 25 to save ur ass
J: and u gotta come home go to tutions and come back and study
J: then eat and study
J: and sleep for 4 hrs
J: and then go to school
J: write tests
J: and then u gotta work on ur mindblowingly tedious
J: and then you gotta get snide remarks abt all u do
J: it's like
J: i'm alive only for the standard jokes i get to laugh at from 2 of my frnds in school
J: digital ppl-i hardly meet
J: the ones i love talking to are pissed at me
J: and i cleared off my list
J: a few stay invisible 24*7
J: it's like home=dead!
J: i hate the way life's going on
J: secrets=no1 to stare with
J: problem=who gives a fuck abt yours?
J: weather=getting roasted
J: body=perspiring 24*7
J: *sighs* syrup.carry on with ur work.
J: now i have an eco. class to attend
J: i gotta come back home
J: and study for tomorrow's test
J: and what i get from it?unecessary sarcasm
I have learnt to hate home by now,except for the pup that lives in it.No one's been rude to me,no one's been fighting.It's like what have I to do at home except for the school texts to read?I watch a little bit of TV and I hear shouts from all sides,more like noise of approching frothy waves,not harmonious for me,the voices say "Enough of TV!".I listen to music and then the same voices boom out loud "Enough of music!" and when I play with the pup the voices say "He's not gonna get you into a good college!"
When I sign in to my messenger,there are cold and distant messages to read and to reply to,some don't bother leaving any,some promised not to talk.Rylynn,only Rylynn makes my day.You get a phone call and they ask "are you studying?",you get a 10 in a shock test[note:not surprise],literally a shock-test and they say,"is that what have you been studying all the time?"Party?NO!Only for half an hour?Still,NO!
What's wrong with a li'l bit of fun?One word:NO!You got piles of homework to be done and also tests to study for,and when you are not going parallelly you're a goner!
A li'l of creative writing?If you think,you'll get yourself into the bill of fame for being creative artificer which you are not,you think too much.Don't.
Too beat,take a nap?Drink GluconD and then get back to study.
Why aren't you talking to me?Sorry,is someone talking to me?A 'nobody' talking to me?
Huh?Not a hint of self-respect apparently.
A day at Shillong,please mummy?And you want me to write your exams?
Purkayastha,bad,bad!Like real bad!Why?
Home alone:At the end of the day,a puff or two and stout[encoded].
Sonny,let's get married,boy?Say tomorrow?Committed.
Enjoyment='M' and 'U'.I.Love.You.Girls.Godammed.Much.And.Yes.Rylynn.TOO!
Rest,why do you even need it?
Reader,[no reader for me]i'm sad.Boo!
Some moron pilfered my confidence,my IQ,my self-respect,my heart.Too petty a thief he is.The biggest moron ever,he's got perfect acuity,he's got a nice li'l head,possibly everything I don't possess,so not flawless,so spiteful,so dominating,so like an Indian male,and yet so likeable.Pilferage?That too what's not of your kind?
Mr.God,don't uplift me beyond my hopes.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Would you please agree to the fact that I'm thanking you,without being skeptical?So well,firstly,thank you for showing that avidity of a dog[no sarcasm] when it came to reading the Yearbook cum Magazine.Really,you stole my heart,even if you happened to fake it[in case you did] .
This book is a dream in form of words,my dream and when you flip through the pages,it's my[and also others']dreams that you are visualizing.There were so...soooo many puerile yet wonderfully imaginative works that I had gone through,I'm so sorry,if yours wasn't in the final copy and when I say that I don't mean those were worthless,maybe yours wasn't the best[don't think you aren't the best]and that keeps happenning,even with me,specially in my romantic life when I see chicks uglier than toads and dumber than Vibhor[think Roadies] dating some real nice chap. :X =P
This work that I was adduced is the best form of work,I have done.Secondly,I thank you for appreciating my own articles,hope you didn't think that I took the liberty of an editor cum compiler to get mine into the book.No,the others chose mine while I theirs,not because of friendship,I assure you.You,Josephites,got me thinking whether I should take writing seriously but then my colloquial style won't give me any award,so chuck.I never had so much of faith in me,until you came and said "Good job,famous author!".Thanks for demanding more of my work,yes,I will show you.My poems,ahh,my poems,I never knew you'd like those too and also,the polygot book got many others noticed too,I'm glad.
When it came to the mistakes,honestly,the whole crew worked really hard to make sure nothing gets wrong and you people didn't dishearten and discourage us,the lenity you showed in the minor mistakes,the way you overlooked the goodness over the badness....how could I thank you.
That's it.A GRAND GENEROUS 'THANK YOU'.
For the editorial team and the rest of the magazine crew
Now that it's seriously over,I hope and hope the the days would rewind,till the time from where we began.Arguments,tensions,strains,that beginning I mean.We were not even sure that this issue of Juvenilia would be 'The Juvenilia' of the decade.I mean honestly,how far did we imagine?A bad cover,some sub-standard Juvenilia and sigh.Although a teacher is acting REAL stupid,I meant heights of stupidity,everything else went nice.True,at 1 at night,when I'd have a test to study for and a pile of articles waiting to be read,I'd almost be in tears and hate it.But that time was worth it,it's an accomplishment which was meant to make us confident,now look,we are over-confident.So we must party over this sometime later,as for now,kicking off with major kicks in your abdomen and love to cure them.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Agreed to Devend's comment,my blog is downright outrageous.I'll just sarcrifice my Oh-So-Lady-Like-Modesty for a better cause,for a hilarious cause,to show you the light,to enlighten you with a new way of committing suicide.
Incident:A 51 year old Australian...umm sorry, 'strai-lian man,named John Paul,with a pea-sized human brain[even kangaroos are smarter,you'll find that out when you are done with reading]...so this dumbass,filled up condoms with a narcotic preparation of cannabis which is as good as weed and is known as hashish.He then swallowed some 60 condoms stuffed with hashish and then he got internal infection because the condoms burst in his intestine and died thus.
Vottay smart aleck!
It wasn't an attempt to suicide apparently,but you could always use that idea because nobody loves you,nobody cares and yes,because you need to die.This is slow but outright effective.
He had been smuggling drugs to a party in Thailand.Guess what?He got me thinking,I don't have a hint on why he swallowed it up with CONDOMS?
***Polar Bears are said to be very cute,such that you want to go and hug them and say coochie coo,until the time they dine on you.The theory was pointed out by me to 'M' and 'U'.
P.S.-Did i mention that i gave up being sarcastic?Like say totally!
Monday, April 21, 2008
Sunday, April 20, 2008
This day was well spent,starting with awesome silky hair,correctly solved Differentiation,reading someone else's love letter and presenting the critical appreciation to the clean shaven guy[who got suspected to have removed his hair by Anne French]who had written it.Attending the AWESOM-EST party of the year,assuring people about my ethnicity,talking a lot and spending a lot of time with...yea whatever.Getting appreciative comments for a nice face[the hall had dim lights],and "CUTE!CUTE!CUTE!CUTE" assuring comments,again spending a whole evening with...yea whatever.
Laughing at the blatant frank avowal of...yea whatever.Making you google avowal :D
Forgetting to take the camera.
Telling mom about the leaked love letter and realizing thus,ugly or pretty out of 48 students in my class 41 has a boy friend to think about,while I fall among the leftovers,because of the list of criteria.
Getting my photos clicked in...yea whatever's camera,and then deciding to meet again to see the pictures,just for the sake of it.
.........And Boom!back to square one. ):
p.s.-i forgot to warn you:this is pathetically boring. :D
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Friday, April 18, 2008
Seduced by his suicidal blog,Showerhuff designs a special dagger to rescue Emo-Goth from their gallows.
~Showerhuff shaves the day!~
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
When I got bruised,I was black.
When I felt like puking,I was black.
When I got married,I was black.
When I died,I was still...BLACK.
When you were born,you were red.
When you got bruised,you were purple.
When you felt like puking,you were green.
When you got married,you were pink.
When you died,you were grey.
And still...still you fucking Gora,you got 'em freaking nerves,'em fronts to call me coloured?!
Friday, April 11, 2008
Why?You'll get 5 $ if you answer this,and 5$ more to figure out that I'm poor resource-wise.
~Why does the blog look like an unnoticeable online diary?~
*After-effects of Aaron's-journal reading*
I SWEAR,I SWEAR,I'll come up with something less-lamer than this,next time.
Con Amore Losers.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
Oh,look the ugly bitch has a monster roasted-faced boyfriend.No actually it's the antibabie.com goon which rapes barbiesto the point of raping their eyes out of their sockets,those ugly bitches are worth it.I dunno how buying-barbies become endemic within the school.HOW?HOW can kids love,ugly bitchy dolls with plastic hands and legs and leopard skin patterned knickers and a fake Louis Vitton bag and plastic,breakable fake Dior sunglasses?
THE HANGED BARBIE
No,i want to write a story.
I really want to.
The story will be about Clickety-Clickety-Click.
Hmm,that's right a cursor.
Once upon a time there was clock,which ticked.And since tick sounds familiar to click.A fat bum-face,retarded boy named Bill,invented a cursor!THE PROUD OWNER OWNER OF THE CURSOR,he was.Every other dimwit envied him.The local witch named,Goddess Of Plagiarism-Queen J,hated him for his new invention.And since the villagers called Bill,The God of Invention,she'd blaspheme openly about him.Bill thought,Pope Benedict's benediction might help,so he cried "Eeeeek!Haaaalp!",oh yes he did.
You will die Bill,the Queen said.
No,you will,Bill replied.
You can't copy me,I'm the Goddess Of Plagiarism,not you,she said.
But you can save yourself from dying under my spells,only give away your cursor to me,she said.
No,no,no!You can't have my cursor,I brought him up,like he's my little brother,Bill said.
Okhay then,Bhaad mein jaa,Queen said.
Bill returned home to feed cerelac to his cursor,he'd later surf through the blogs in internet,he thought.In the meantime,the witch created her own blog,and then wrote the link to the blog in a yellow coloured paperand posted the letter to Bill's mailbox.Bill saw the link,it was kind of ostentatious so he got attracted to it,and typed it in his address bar and hit enter with his cursor!AND AS SOON AS THE BLOG PAGE APPEARED,the cursor fell in love with the sparkled fairy in it.
And he refused to come back to Bill.
And he became the Queen's cursor.
Bill went to hell.
Queen never died.
Cursor is bored.
And by the way,he was named Clickety-Clickety-Click.
~WHATTA NICE STORY~
~Moral of the Story:Always write nice stories.~
Monday, March 24, 2008
ABOUT ROCA:Finally,I AM ADDICTED!No,not to cigarretes,not to entine,not to a hunk,BUT TO ROCA!30 out of 24 hours do I think about my own Roca brand.That's about Roca.
Happy Life to you.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Nah,not even exams or the gravest form of worry.
As they say,i can get robbed or even kidnapped albeit while sleeping.
Completely unaware,still sleeping.
AND TALK ABOUT CALIBRE!Because this little dog did the impossible.
Would you believe me,if I told you that,I haven't slept the whole night?
The puppy sojourned my bed,imagined a toilet seat on it,peed on my tee,on my bed,aking wonderful circle patterns.
I don't know what feels so felicitous at mid night,but this puppy have been pawing me since 12:30 a.m. to play with it.
So I did.
Then tried sleeping.It gave indications for shitting.
I took him to the bathroom showing didactic presentations,on how humans shit.
Only if he'd copy me.
Surprise!surprise!He already attended his needs under my bed.He still doesn't have any sign of slumber in his eyes apparently.
And at 4:00 p.m.,I'm trying to play with it,and tire him out.
Only if,he'd get weary,and my eyelids would stop drooping.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Damn!Even a tornado or a hunger strike couldn't bring so much of destruction in my life!This is a major castastrophe and right now,i'm not in the state of writing an essay on it,instead i'll just put up the conversation which summarizes the situation.
seraph:oye chaman ! :-
J:chaman bahar? :P
i uploaded some vidoes.
those were like my best songs back in classes 6 and 7.
shit man!they are SO girly!
seraph:But i m happy .... atleast those will get ur estrogen levels high :P
right now,my adrenaline level is high.
you know what?
my maths paper was a total sucker!
left two major chapters:inverse trigo and integration.
the whole question paper was basically based on those 2 chapters.
the question paper intially look like it was on 80 marks,but today somebody discovered that Sec-I was of 80 marks and sec-II of 20,that makes 100 marks.
and i merrily attempted 50 marks[thinking it was out of 80],cuz the rest 30 was based on those maha-fucked up chapters.
do i even deserve a funeral? [:x]
and i hate typing long scraps [:x]
my mood's like fused!
mamma electrician and papa electrician considered the length of the chapters.
And gave me concession.
I have been calculating and re-calculating my marks again and again,
and everytime i come up with new answers.
i gave up sleeping[yes read!i gave up sleeping]
and eating.something pretty unexpected of me.
if you r going to say 'chalega,paas ho jayegi',DON'T!absolutely don't.
cuz this time i'm not persiflaging.
my paper basically looks like a constipated pig's ass!
and my marks will look like faggots!
i had a deal with mom,she shouldn't harm my body whatsover.
i'll either commit suicide by over-eating or over-sleeping.
*sighs*,my mood's filament is only defective!
okhay,now i guess,i'll staple my mouth[but i'm not talking am,i?
don't wish me luck,in your next scrap,from the bottom of your heart.
and on second thoughts,how can hearts have bottoms?
look shit happens ...... if u pass ... pray to god .... and offer a nariyal .... if you dont .... threaten ur princi ... that u will suicide ... if there is a major fuck up ... i'll handle it ... u need not to worry :)
and exactly how will 'you' handle it?
picked it up from 'main hoon na'?
main hoon na?
all that u can expect,is me deleting my accounts all over again.
and swearing not to socialize with cool people anymore,cuz as the saying goes 'touch pitch and be defiled' :-
*sighs* a major blow to my career...
...and romantic life too[:x],cuz if my fiance demands for my report card someday,that'll be the end of it.
A MAJOR BREAKUP gossip for the ladies.
and if you are thinking of leaving a comment on this,don't!i don't need any sympathies,any hugs and kisses and any 'awwww'-s from you becasue you know it and even i know it,that it can't be fixed by any of those!
Monday, March 3, 2008
For fun, I started making a list of the aspects of everyday life that are geared towards right-handed people. Lefties will probably recognize most things on this list; righties might find some of these things surprising. Anyways, I hope you enjoy reading it! :-)
• We have to use special "lefty" scissors. [I don’t do that.However,I hold my scissor,brush,spoon,etc. with my left hand]
• We write from left to right, so that our hand smears the fresh ink across the page. (Righties' hands do not touch the ink until they get to the next line, so the ink has a few seconds to dry.) [sheesh!Those traumas,during the exam.I’ll write the whole damned thing also so perfectly only to see that the left side of my palm smeared the ink,all over the page.]
• If you grab a coffee mug with your left hand, the picture will be facing away from you. (Righties get to look at the picture while they drink.)
• Lefties have little choice where they get to sit at large dinners, lest they bump elbows with a righty. [Eveytime!every single time,it looks like an elbow war is going on]
• Lefties have little choice where they get to sit in lecture halls. Often the only left-handed desks are on the end of the row. Lefties can't sit in the middle, unless they want to have a hard time writing.[During every dictation,wither I’ll lose my patience or the person on my left]
• When writing in a 3-ring binder (or spiral notebook), the rings get in the way of our hands when we write on the front side of the paper. (Righties have this problem when writing on the back of the paper, but this is easier to avoid.)
• Many "commonly" used keys are on the right side of the keyboard. For example: backspace, enter, arrows, and numeric keypad. [in addition to it,nobody stiches the buttons of my school-shirt on the left,so everytime I fumble while putting on the buttons]
• Computer mice are generally set up so that the "main" button is the index finger for righties. If you want to use the mouse in your left hand, the "main" button is under your less-adept ring finger. [I tried real hard on that,I’m sort of ambidextrous now]
• Bike gears are on the right side of the bike. This means that if you carry the bike on your right shoulder, the gears face outward. If you put the bike on your left shoulder, you'll get grease stains all over your clothes.
• Bike helmet chin-strap buckles are easier to release with your right hand.
• Hand-held jigsaws blow sawdust off to the right side. If you hold it in your right hand, it blows the sawdust away from you. If you hold it in your left hand, it blows sawdust in your face.
• Drill presses have the handle (to lower the drill) on the right side. It's impossible (and dangerous!) to try to hold the wood with your right hand while controlling the drill with your left hand.
• Lefties have to get their own "left-handed" boomerangs, golf clubs, hockey sticks, and baseball mitts. This means we usually can't borrow our friends' equipment.
• Car stick-shifts are on the right side of the driver. Less frequently used controls, such as headlight switches, are on the left side.
• High-end headphones (with only one cord) have the cord on the left side. The cord gets in the way more for left-handed writers.
• BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) entrance/exit gates take the ticket on your right side.
• When pants only have one back pocket, it's always on the right side. (Lefties have to fumble around for their wallet with their "bad" hand.) [thankfully,mine have two backpockets.]
• Mini propane camping stoves are designed so that you can hold it with your left hand and pump up air pressure with your right, even if the stove is still hot. It's hard to hold it with your right hand and pump with your left hand without burning your right hand.
• Piano keys are arranged so the more rapidly-changing higher notes are played with the right hand. For beginners, the base clef (left hand) is often optional.
• Camera shutter buttons are often on the right. Pressing the button with our less-dextrous hand makes it harder for lefties to hold the camera steady while taking a picture. [yea,sometimes the photos get shaken]
• "Ergonomic" chairs usually have the controls on the right side.
• When firing an automatic or semi-automatic rifle, the ejection port blows casings past your face.
• When holding a pen or pencil in your right hand, you can read any lettering on it, but in your left hand, the lettering is upside-down.[exactly!like almost mirror images]
I got pretty famous since the starting of my school life because everytime I was an alien,who gripped the pen in a strange fashion,like curling the whole hand,typically.Sometimes,there are public demands,like:-“Please write my name and show me” , “How do you colour?”, “You write that way?Always?Write it again.” Everytime I passed to another class, the first thing that the class teacher would come know is “About the girl who writes with her left-hand.” They’d get all enthusiastic to make me write with my right hand,to the point of having me practice handwriting daily.When I used my left hand more as an infant,my folks got shit scared[shit scared?i mean wtf?].I was taken to a Dr. to find out if I was normal.I’m dyslexiac,not a schizophrenic either,unlike what most reasearchers point out.I’m just a slow coach,when it comes to writing.I need to make two efforts while writing,not smearing the ink and writing fast.Eventually,I flop. “Stares” of people made me do something against my rule.I eat with right-hand.And me eating is quite a scene.However,when it comes to spoons,I just dunno how to hold it with my right-hand.
But then being a left-hander isn’t bad.It is like feeling,that I’m so different than everyone else,like I’m God’s favourite child,atleast he has made an effort to get me noticed.