Quotable Life Of Good Gracious ME!

An advice I love to love like I'd love my love which obviously I don't have to:

"My dad always said that you shouldn't lie cos you'll have to tell another ten lies to back it up.However,Hardjit'd taught me that if the back-up lies are good enough,then so fucking what?"

Random Things I Hate[100.105 Version]

Before you point me out that it was a smart idea,I figured that out pretty early.Much before someone actually penned it down,for the sake of it.I have learnt to loathe my private Maths class by now.I completely detest it.Solving out not-solvable problems in a graveyard is no fun especially when women with XXL sized bellies who keep watching Saas Bhi Kabhi Jamai Babu Thi and whatever follows next and complain that their household chores is a never ending job and men with bigger-than-their-faces moustache and bigger-than-themselves paunch sleep like dead donkeys while the galli-don steals there car keys with their kids between them,in a sweltering summer noon with no trace of rain-bearing clouds.Re-read the sentence,yes,it is big.

It's just the Prof. and me and the 80 kgs book with pages which say "500 different way to shit under the sky" or something like that,all you have to do is calculate.

A year back,it wasn't funnier but tolerable,yes,I'd take breaks from pretending to solve things and look at the oh-so-not-look-able boy,who techincally was older and shorter and looked like he would in his dad-hood years.Resembling a chimp in so many ways and so much hair to show *shudders*.He left the tution.Left me alone,alone with mosquitoes and books and a Prof.

So yea the whole point of describing this was that the thought of attending the overweening class gives me lachrymose eyes,you can water your plants well with the tears.Everyday Friday and Sunday i keep hoping that the alarm clock will ditch me.But then far from lending a tiny bit of succor it always wakes me up in the perfect[est] time!So this devil idee fixe grasped my unholy sinistral mind,duh!it is the best-est mind ever,I dream of nuddy pornstars signing autograph,I dream Aishwarya Rai's face getting eaten up by a three headed monster,the second mouth has SRK for having invested his fortune on Kewlkata Night Gowns,the third can have some random person whom I don't like that could be you too. So okhay,I set the alarm to ring an hour later,and I purposely wake up late, aww c'mon,it's the godammed alarm clock that did it!*innocent-est of all innocent looks*.

Next class,this is what happened:

Tee:What happened the last day?

Me:*realising that saying that the alarm walked right out on me wasn't an effective lie*I had..um...some umm...sort of skin disease,sir.. wtf?

Tee:whaa? :O what happened?show me?

"Hardjit'd got this another rudeboy rule,you see.The rule says that if you're having trouble explainin shit to your elders,especially to your parents,just start throwin in more complicated words and maybe even a bunch a capital letters an they'll just give up tryin to understand."

Me:uh-oh!Thing thing is up on my thigh sir,contagious,the dermatologist says.*confident look*

Tee:what's the name?

Me:oh...um..that thing...oh holy fucking shit!sir,that thing...basal cell....BCC..

For all I know that it's some kind of cancer, :D

Tee:oh,=/ huh?open up your book.

Me:Just to make sure* Do you like Biology,sir?

Tee:No,just Maths,'nuff said!Open up your book.

So yea,now you know why you should lie,and lie it well,re-read the bold sentences over and over again and you'll grow up to be cool like me,seriously,wtf?