Saturday, September 20, 2008

Winged Invaders.

I've got invaders in my room.
They came.
They saw.
They conquered!Argh!
I have got insects all over the room,on the wall,in my milk I drink milk,yea so?One tried getting inside my eye just now!A whole family of insect on the monitor,on my every friggin place but outside the room.And hell!They bite!!
Forget all non-violence!Down with all insects,and my EVE book says human population will explode the Earth.I'll bring out the intrigant girl within me and spray insecticides all over!This will be a genocidal attack.
I'll be attacked by the paparazzi and I'll hit the headlines of the insect world.They'll kiss my feet,those damned insects and pray for their life,I'll bring the Nazism in their world.

Now I must leave the room;they already started revolting against whatever I typed now.Those godammed insects will die a painful death.Know this,sinners,Diwali isn't too far!Haw haw haw!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

People Are So [IRRITATINGLY] Like That-Part 3

As if a dysfunctional family wasn't enough for me.Just last day,I and S were in the crowded market place,it was busier than it is,in a beehive.So S and I were blah-blah-ing away to glory.

S:Wanna try pizza?


S:Cakes R Us?


Then someone's hand brushed against my arm.Pretty normal,in a market.Next,the hand-guy comments something in Bong that we don't get and so we avert our eyes and thoughts.We're pretty used to, 'Hey gorgeous!','Hey blah!',Hey bleh!' So right,we keep walking and S espied from the corner of her eye that the man was still following.

Description of the fucktard:Eww!Ugly!Light coloured clothes that turned black.Ugh!

So yea,he takes the left turn and we take the right.How smart of us!And et viola!He noticed that we took a different turn and changed his way and came darting towards us,albeit at a distance of three feet.Let's just say,we were trying to be far.

S:Omg!Where's the shop,dammit!Let's get in somewhere!!

We already got into that adrenalin-rush phase by then.And then dumbass me suggested a new idea:

Me:Let's stop at a place and see if he stops too.

So we pause as if window-shopping coconuts and straws heaped beside a car and I turn around.Impressive,he stopped too.And then what I saw was way to gross,he slid his hand inside his pant and sent kisses in the air.*gasps*

Me:Holy fucking shit!


Me:Run for your life,someone just got something errected.

S:oh wha..

Me:He's masturbating,run!*grabbed her hand*


And then our eyes-blinded,our legs gave up and we ran for our lives,between fat women,between paunches,stepped on dung,stopped cars,suspensed traffic,gathered obnoxious curses,came back home,put the pillow on my face and pondered,how much would it take to amputate it and feed that to the asshole!


Another incident that happened to A:

She was walking back home after writing her ISC exams and an old man[say 40] riding a bicycle,stopped beside her and said:Wanna see?See![Dekhte chow?Dekho!]And showed it. :O

Almost same kind of shit happened to M and U.For S and me,it was the first time.Now I learnt a lesson:A knee in need,is a knee indeed.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

People Are Like That-Part 2

Moral:Intelligent household helpers are a rare species.

This household helper comes running breathlessly to tell me about the assumed-by-her-apocalypse-day.She tells me breathlessly lookattheskysomething'swrongwithit.So with perfect agility I run up to my terrace tolookatthedefectivesky.If you live under the Silly sky,you must have had convulsions to have felt the donnern Sie und Blitz outside your window last night.Those nocturnal species who've been yapping over the phone must have dropped their phones out of fear and those who were under the spell of slumber woke up too,to see a diwali night-sky.P.s.-The lonely kind like me,tried to hug their mattresses too,I guess,for me it was my bedsheet.I wasn't scared just shaken because of the sound and one second later I realized that bedsheet isn't a hug-able thing.Ayway,back to the defectivesky,I go up and see convivial,brilliant looking sky sheesh!what a waste of energy.There was a rainbow,yes I HAVE seeen a rainbow,plenty of times before and the rainbow encircled the a erm..teddy bear eye.A ball and a bigger ball,you get the drift of it,right?So yea,that's a new thing,I have never seen a teddy-bear eye in the sky.No beautiful sky,no romantic weather can bring out the poetic pleonasm within me yea,instead of a luminary necklace around the sun,I'll use a teddybear eye to give you a vivid description.Anyway,you gotta be a jobless loser to be reading a description of a rainbow,like it were a kindergarten essay.Also,some aircraft left a line of smoke behind it in the stratosphere.So that's the defective part,I presume and to add to that,the etymological scientific experimentation that is likely to take place today has chewed upon people's brains.Poor people.Anyway,I clicked the picture of the sky with my blinding eyes,for it was so sunny outside though cloudy.Weird,huh?


Sunday, September 7, 2008

Death On A Tuesday.Sounds like a poem?

I love my silhouette[clickhereassholes].You don't?Fuck off.
Tuesday is going to be the longest,toughest and the last day of my life.A day which begins with Maths,every other day begins with that,has got two Economics classes and a bunch of other fat women blabbering for 45 minutes each and a short dork trying to be tall,and women bickering about women,and an ugly looking squid for lunch,and chinkies grabbing copies and copying stuff like mad,and friends talking about their boy friends and an ugly,fat,ill-clad,protruding-muscled woman leaving sarcastic comments,and a room beside a green,grassy meadow,and drifting eyesight,then punishment,a round of Bingo championship,winning,submitting copies that'll be stamped by Puran Daju,a bus loaded with puking kids,peeing kids,shouting kid,kids with chocolates,a buxom,spectacled idiot,and others too,a tired,dead girl staring at a place with no kids and et viola,a kid rolls in,a red eyed chauffeur,unfinished lunched,unfinished conversation,unlocked cupboard,hasty exit,a nice but boring man's notes,giggles,phones beeping,a father and mother prying the girl's lips open to stuff in food claiming that she's underweight,a stupid sibling,a mad barking puppy,untouched homeworks,smoke,out of my mouth,fermented juice inside my mouth,dialing numbers,on hold for an hour,sad,dejected,lonely,unwanted,disconnected girl,slumber!Uh-oh!Long sentence.

Are we over with Tuesdays yet?*dreads*

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

If only. :'(

Only if this smarty pants were to be 30 years younger,I wouldn't be searching for a date all over the galaxy.No aliens for me,no dumbass for me,only smart ass.Features you?Contact me.
But no,you must be married,engaged,gay,etc.Do me a favour?Just die!