Smash!Wham!Bang!

2011-09-20T18:48:00.006+05:30

Note: I am writing this post out of extreme hatred. I never thought I would.

My class is demarcated. As widely as it can be. Not a fine thin line between two groups but a huge Mediterranean sea. No ships, no helicopters. Do you know what that means? Nobody crosses any boundaries. And now I’ll regurgitate: My class has been demarcated for the last two years and it’s consistently been running its third year marathon.

Now may I describe the two groups?

Group A: The one that sits as closest to the Professor as possible but fails to stand under the spotlight for a second. These retards wear the world’s ugliest clothes and shoes. Sometimes they make me wonder whatever went wrong with the brain function that helps us choose right from wrong. First ones to submit all assignments, bottom down the scoring list. And God has shunned their pathetic little lives so far from his business that he makes utter mockery of democracy. He proves that he does not love all his children equally. And that he will always favour the prettiest and the smartest. All the Anna supporting people who cried, “What happened to Democracy?” Democracy is a myth my friends. They are still stuck in their favourite backstreet boy era with their amateurish guitar skills. This group has never tasted limelight. And if they ever did before you could say, "ohh crap!wtf?" they are back to their disgusting little lives. They are so invisible that it will make you wonder if they have Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak shrouded on them or not. Not joking. They are the backdrop.

Group B: Why doesn’t it surprise you when I type that this group has the prettier, smarter, heavily accentuated Beverly Hill-ish people? If they are judging you, their judgments will burn your skin and roast your flesh. They have the most expensive birthday parties thrown in the coolest clubs of all. They will marry within their group and raise hauntingly nasty children like themselves. They are the editors, the heads, the celebrated ones of every Society. Protect me if you can because they are also the ones who blog. They suck all the fun of the city to their lives leaving none for others with their super popular vacuum and despite this they prove their intelligence. Either it is multi-tasking or well, the more obvious fact: God IS biased. They own you. You don’t have a life. When you talk, they scrutinize your life, your family, your words. If you crack a joke, they will prove it to you that your joke as your life, is completely “redundant”. I quoted the word, did you see that? They are ingrate if you ever helped them and think they will remember your unpopular name. Don’t wish to be their friend, you don’t stand a chance. Do you know why? They are cool and popular and you with you twisted little life don’t even share the same pedestal. Rule 1# They do not talk to Group A. If they do, heaven will fall lose and mad men will run free. They are snobs. They’re the crowd, mingling with only the other cool people.

You maybe wondering where my loyalties lie. I don’t know. I wasn’t biologically trained to function either way. Then you might be wondering if there is a third group, perhaps? No, there isn’t. Either you are cool or you are not. My life in Delhi has been brief but my descriptions about the demarcation is perfection. I am writing this out of extreme revolt like I said. So much repugnance in my guts that I slept all morning and afternoon lest I wake up to break anything valuable. What? Don’t judge. I have my own idiosyncratic moments. I had written it down in my memory ages ago and I choose to only type down my memory today. I am not angry at any group per se. I am just exhausted. I am sorry if I have hurt any sentiment but you have issues that you need to deal with.

2011-08-31T23:11:00.001+05:30

A common Indian activity, talked about by the foreign tourists, hated by the elite Indians, loved by the rest of the population, loved so much that they are addicted to it. Not alcohol(now that I think of it elite can never hate alcohol). Not the other things that you have assumed but spitting. You’re reading it right, yes it is spitting. We are biologically functioned to spit at traffic signals, while walking on pavement,when we are in government buildings. Yes like gardens attract lovers, government offices attract spittoons. There hasn’t been any too many government offices that don’t have antique yellow or red stains against walls, to my knowledge. This is such a ordinary sight that you can almost pass it off as graffiti art. Indian creativity. This art of spitting is something that doesn’t need teaching. Children learn it by living and watching.

There was this man inside a car at a traffic signal. He spat a highly concentrated form of saliva and cough right after he turned off the ignition key and then sighed. I am assuming spitting is a stress buster. Then he caught me gawking and gaping at his disgusting face. And as if to show off his skills he spat again and again and again. This activity took only two minutes. Two minutes because the signal went green. He could have spat infinite times. I looked blank, horrified with the amount of disgust boiling within me. My equally nauseated friend suddenly blurted out, “WHAT DO THEY EAT TO SPIT SO MUCH?” Who knew that eating disorder can trigger such horrendous activities?

After a lot of brain-storming and researching on lab rats, I found a solution to control this frustrating desire. Think: S-word.

Think.

Okhay. Swallow.

2011-05-11T20:28:00.001+05:30

Exams are back. (yes, we all want to say something similar to Simon! Go back!) but right now I can type only two more words: Hello caffeine. :)

We're talking about DP here.

2011-04-09T00:41:00.002+05:30

Photos have found a newfound value. Let us first compare two situations.

2 decades back:

Hey that's a really nice photo. You should frame it.

Now:

Hey! DP material. DPfy it right away!

It's almost impossible to click photos of people when they're unaware of a big camera hovering around their faces.

They request, "One DP please!"

"No this one's not good. Under the bamboo trees? Okhay, should I look elsewhere to make it look natural."

Natural, sorry?

"Yes this one is natural, put it up on facebook please?"

We need to re-define natural. Clearly.

Because everything is so amazing!

2011-04-02T17:32:00.002+05:30

I have been wondering what to blog about for a really long time. Today I found out what annoys me. PMS-ing people among other things of course.

There's this whole crowd of them around me. They take 25 minutes to stand up. 1 hour to walk to the canteen which is by the way not in Connecticut. Ohh bummer they will also whine to an extent that you'll be so annoyed that you'll stealthily move out of that crowd before God rips off your life-contract out of sheer disgust!

Don't touch me.

It's paining.

Don't talk to me.

Leave her alone. She's PMS-ing.

Worse. Leave HIM alone, he's PMS-ing.

Aww. It'll be okhay. Aww.

Aww. Aww. Aww.

And someone or the other keeps PMS-ing all the time! Whatever happened to normal periods?

Whatever's next? No, I cannot understand people anymore.

To be away from such a vexatious throng I attended this all-night concert. We lay on the rocks as it rained and the breeze swept the grains of sand swiftly, with little leaves getting lost in my hair (you know why). It was nice. It was seamless like those things you don't talk about but only witness. And it's tranquility gave me little goosebumps the whole night. We listened to flute and I wish it wouldn't stop because it was transcendental, and I forgave the annoying little twits for the whole night!

2011-03-25T13:03:00.003+05:30

I hang up on people arbitrarily. I stop replying to their messages. I have more unread messages and unchecked Facebook notifications. I have no complaints. I like the wind blowing through my hair. I like the tiny dots of light on the hills. I am at peace. I smile. I am at peace. So much dope in my blood. So much happiness within me. So much calmness in my heart. So much regurgitation. So much dope. Wind blowing my blowing. So romantic.

Peace.

2011-02-02T23:05:00.003+05:30

Jaipur is crazy. Crazily amazing. A maniacal traffic to begin with. Camels, elephants, horses, motorcycles, cycles, bus, cars- everything is a part of the traffic. And for the first time in my life I saw semi-permeable traffic. "Only small vehicles please, big vehicles and animals need to wait longer." So at a point of time I frustratingly ask the auto if we are ever going to reach Diggi Palace and then when he says "kya karu?" I insist, "Traffic police ke upar se chala lo?" Then we travel through the narrowest impenetrable dingy lanes of Jaipur. Quaint red-sandstone houses with a lot of urine and the nauseating stench. The auto went right between two cows that had been fondly licking each other. The best part about the layout of the city is that there are rectangular blocks, so technically every lane is connected to the main road. So you may have to travel through heaps of dung or hay or tear two animal lovers apart but you reach the destination anyway. It's not my first time in Jaipur and is definitely not going to be the last but it's rather the only time that I have used the cheapest ways of commuting ever.

All the foreign tourists probably turn hysterical to find animals and vehicles together in a traffic jam but the other people found it perfectly normal to find an animal hault at a red light and then stomp about when the red signal turns green. But I'm not complaining. I like the traffic there, it's bizarre, it's colourful and then we have shabby buildings on either side-building built according to the Mughal architecture or Rajput and sometimes a combination of both. Colourful doors and walls and really small windows for the women of the zenana. I tried looking through one such tiny window through which the queens used to watch the procession. I found it less grand to be trapped in quarters with black screen and small windows, dressing up only to have nobody to tell you how beautiful you look. A queen ought to stomp around the city flamboyantly, wearing the best silk and the prettiest jewellery, not be tucked inside a room where only a king or her eunuch friends should see her.

After dinner, I strolled about in the lawn absorbed in utmost satisfaction, and from there I could see the still lake around the Jal Mahal, glimmering with the silver rays of the moon- such an enticing sight. I have seen lakes and moons before, and I felt the romance running up my body but this was a royal-romance-this particular lake and moon. That is the charm about Jaipur that the most normal structures, activities, scenes somehow turn royal. That being said, I'm half in mind to go there again next month.

60 billion problems. Then add three more.

2010-12-30T00:38:00.005+05:30

I have a lot of problems in my life. Enough for me to drown myself in Whiskey everyday.

For instance, my new phone brings me agonizing pain. Before I pour out my wrath and then you read it and say to yourself "yea, weird girl." I acknowledge that very fact. Thank you very much.

So my phone is not stone age and I am in the stone age phase right now and I am unlikely to ever bring myself in terms with that QWERTY keypad. My fingertips are too huge for the puny keys. I don't know why it's the prevailing fashion. Next, I couldn't find a drafts folder so where the hell am I going to save the sms-es that I wish to send to God? This whole issue upsets me so much that I just leave that damned electronic object inside my drawer refusing to receive calls. Finally, I WANT MY STONE AGE DEVICES BACK.

Then I turn on MTV and just my luck- Splitsvilla is on. Those sappy little bastards that never stop quarrelling. And I want to shout at the top pf my voice "Just teach those godforsaken loonies some elementary Grammar and kindergarten sentence formation teachnique! And then banish them from my sight." I weep because humans aren't supposed to be sorely preposterous. They exude infinite stupidity and that is intercepted by other human brains yea and now you know how it's a disease.

Thirdly, I am back home and I want to devour all the television programmes specially Travel and Living shows and they dubbed everything in Hindi. Why? I hate to see those people speak in cartoon-voices and crack cartoon-jokes and sometimes speak English words in heavily accentuated cartoon-pronunciations. When I was a kid Cartoon Network and Anime got dubbed in Hindi and the attack will never be terminated.

A lot of problems. Because I'm just so fucking brilliant that mediocre doesn't satiate my soul.

P.S.- When I refreshed the blog page I just realized that New Year is this close. Yet another spoiler. I had to edit the post. I had to add this bit. 2011 is going to be worse that 2010 because all my best friends are in 3rd year. Well not all. The ones I hang out with in the evening, the one who know how to start fun, who go backpacking, who quarrel incessantly and forget instantly, who(most importantly) get on my nerves less than the others do, who are cool (in the actual sense of it), who share troubles, pain and food, who are not misers, who bear my excruciating presence (thank you!). My true Bohemian partners, they will be gone and I will be a goner. I dedicate this post to the Lonely 2011 and best friends. Cheers!

A Megaloath post for the megaabhorred. (Hate is cliched)

2010-12-23T23:44:00.005+05:30

Grand Finale of Masterchef India(or whatever) and who is the guest judge? Katrina Kaif who does what she's best at- looking good. And what do we see? People dancing to the painfully pathetic songs (which is a big hit by the way) that make my ears bleed. The contestants also swoon over her repeatedly and apparently it is a dream coming true for them. A music competition and we always have actors (sorry?) to judge. An athletic championship, dance show, just name it the actors always grab the limelight and actors with no acting skills whatsoever. Just let the wannabe actors do their job? I mean "look good" and say " I have lots of offers coming to me but I just want to focus on this one movie right now?"
What movie?
"Road mein ghayal." Or "Chastity- kahani ek auraat ki". Hold on, "Oolta love story".
And what's the peppy song?
"Ghashiram ka mucch"( if Sheila has jawani, Ghashi can have his own song, can't he?)
No, it's a tie actually between "Sanjana ke baal" (yea it sounded different in my head) and "Ghashiram ke mucch". Almost anything goes huh? So long the famished and highly imbecilic Indian population can afford a ticket to Sangam theatre. (Note: For cheap movies try Sangam instead of PVR, rickshaw wala population but it's better than shredding your money in a fit, correct?)
And then one fine day I'll come back, very beat, will want to drop dead in my bed but what do I see? My roommate swinging her legs and humming "Sheila ki jawani" NO, DON'T SING THAT SONG NOT EVEN FOR FUN! I don't care if your beanpole of a scraggy face shrivels up even more.

My point is, why are the actors and cricketers so important in India? Nobody cares about anybody else. And the actors in question are those that prance about naked and act like dummies and engage into several altercations with other actors or join a political party when they have nothing else to do. The good actors are hardly a part of the showbiz and why? Because they don't dance to item numbers or have the pretty face. How many of us think Rahul Bose or Rajat Kapoor are good? *raises her hand* and SRK? 50 million hands, like I did not see that one coming so I'll feign a surprised look and hold the "du'h" sign. All he does is bleat like a goat (yea his hackneyed style with special effects, tell me about it)in most movies minus two. Why would we have Amitabh Bacchan to host a brain game? I am not saying that he's a doofus( I don't know if he is) but why not Neil O'Brian or Arindam Bose? For the cook shows why not Aditya Baal? For the music show why can't only the musicians judge the freaking show? It's not as if the famous actors we are talking about act the Richard-Gere-style or Jim-Carrey-style(for comedians). It's not like the funny movies give you the hangover, Hangover style.
Good hair? Check.
Good face? Check.
Can dance? Check.
Can't act? Check.
Controversies? Check.
And we have the ingredients of a famous Bollywood actor.

Now even the beauty pageants are filling up the fissures. I mean beauty pageants are beauty pageants so just sit there, wear your crown, wave your hand and look pretty. Don't start acting please? And models? Just keep walking the damned fashion ramp and when the going gets tough, keep going. I have this one nerve left, don't bludgeon it to death.

And now five hoots for Masterchef Australia. Go go go Adam!

Bitch+sonofabitch= is what you're looking for.

2010-12-21T01:59:00.004+05:30

I shut my book and I watch him sleep. He quivers. Moves. Turns. Flops. Occassionally opens up an eye, stares at me (probably smiles) and goes off to sleep. He stretches, sighs and curls up into a ball at which point I have to pull the blanket back on him. I watch every movement intently. He looks so flawless that he possibly belongs to a different universe. It takes a lot to love without expectations and it's different when you know that love is coming back like a boomerang. That is the feeling of security and sometimes you can't explain that very feeling. Of course you love me but what more? The more part is the extensive quantity and this other inexplicable feeling that I wish I could show but I can't show because no language has that immutable feeling and no human speaks that feeling and its very absense everywhere makes me feel it more. What's the word that I'm looking for?

P.S.- I bet none of you rhyming fools can fit that big word in any poem. And the person who's typing this is my compassionate self and I have no control over her whatsoever.

More Music!

2010-12-13T22:44:00.004+05:30

How about you see a head disappear in the crowd and you follow him but you never end up seeing his face? But the head fascinates you because a chill ran down your nerves the moment you saw the man toss his curly head, you know that he was smiling but you still haven't seen his face. Does he have brown eyes? No, grey? Finally you lose him and you look all around you frantically but he's melted in the crowd.
You know you're connected- you and him and you're somehow meant to connect.
(Disclaimer: The 'you' in concern may not be me.)

Today I realized that Death Metal scares me-the voice, the costumes, the bass guitar, everythying as much as a weresnake scares me(I'm saving that story for some other day). This particular band that I'm talking about is "Funeral in Heaven". You may check their picture here. But of course that's a really old picture. Do a little task in your head or use paint if you went through a recent traumatic brain surgery. Shave the first man and the last man's hair, paint their faces with shoes polish, then make the third and fourth boys(from left) look like the second boy which includes the hairdo too and add beards and white paint on their faces. Well that's how they looked today. They go beneath the C level of ugliness.(and please don't sue me for this)
When a rock band (Traffic Jam) from Maldives performed this is roughly what the language sounded to me:
yashi huku yahaa, say again hooo fari ji yuki haka hoooo nadari juri wakaa.*massive head movements* For that matter, I never saw their faces only a mass of slick hair in constant up-down head banging motion and fari yuhu gashi kiri. Traffic jam, I realized sounds a lot like them. :/
Shorbori doesn't joke around when she's blogging.

And finally a suave dreamy performance by The East India Company. They will release their albums soon and you must listen to them.

I must prove my superiority.

2010-12-12T22:23:00.003+05:30

You flick on their head and the hollowness within it echoes back.
They sleep when you want the lights on and they listen to music loudly when you want it off.
They leave their hair all over the place.
They think YOU are an alien when they're too base for even alien camps to let them in.
They talk. They never stop and that shrill voice rings through your ears till your brain hurts.
And when they shriek while talking on phone(ohh, by the way they're always on phone) the blob in your head that the doctors have diagnosed to be a cancerous tumour bursts and you get cured miraculously.
They're insecure. VERY insecure and they must tell the person on the other end of the phone the colour of their nail paint and occasionally they quip in "Haye Teddy, I love you baby!"

Then they face my judgemental eyes the ones that produce loathsome-laser beams and then they say "Haye shits this girl is a lonely bitch!"

Who are they? Hint: Starts with R ends with E and has OOMAT in between.

Disclaimer: The descriptions may not be right in several cases. In fact, it may be the other way round in your case

Outright Creepy.

2010-12-08T23:05:00.003+05:30

You know you've stalked way too much when you see some faces in certain places and you keep wondering how you know them and then do you really know them? Not sure. Maybe I do.
Ohh crap. Facebook. She's not even my friend, or my friend's friend. Hold on how did you even start stalking?
Now you're confirmed that you're a pretty, little fucked up dork. Why do I have pending work again? Never mind.

Things that grab my attention.

2010-12-07T00:42:00.014+05:30

My mind is still in the process of debating through a certain confusion: Should I make a photoblog or not? I don't decide for myself ,my head does but then invariably I end up doing it, anyway what I want to say is that my head is in a state of unrest. I often imagine my head to be a Federal constitution, makes me feel important when I'm standing beside a particular suited somebody in an elevator who has a very important briefcase in his grip(well for that matter, the briefcase might have a muffler and tissue papers). "He ain't got no country in his head." That's my imaginative self and I have too many myselves, and they constantly argue with each other. No I'm not diseased, you'll realize that you're in fact more diseased than I can ever be. Well that's my argumentative self. It carries a sword, it kills. I'm shamelessly, consciously narcissistic. There's no remedy for it(thankfully, may I add?)
Anyway, while my brain racks to come to a final decision,I'll slowly turn this one into a photoblog.

I saw it up on the stage, gleaming and glistening. If you're a man, you probably will love it more than I can ever because I cannot ride a Harley Davison with my flimsy legs. Yes, I saw a Harley Davison. And the best photo I could manage to click are these. Now gloat over them.

And the other thing you should do is face some ~~menopause~~ Menwhopause music because they are really awesome. At a point of time my legs gave up on me but I had to perch up my heels to get a glimpse of them. Good music is the primary point, the secondary point could be their lead vocalist. Not a sign of distress and he sings like he's singing in his bathroom and I think all of us sing the best when we're inside our bathrooms. He paces about the stage like he's shamelessly forgotten the swaying crowd and he's singing to himself in his living room. And occasionally, he pauses to look at the crowd and mumbles some introductory note about a song reluctantly. Is that why they're the men who pause? Three songs by Menwhopause that you must listen to are > Fly Away, Free and Sweet Despair, that is, if you trust my iPod playlist. If that's noise for you, maybe you're growing too old for it and you need your dentures ASAP! :)

And a picture of them.

Sorry about the tip of the heads. Nobody wants to stoop.

P.S: I was reading random blog posts while typing my post. Did I read blasphemous comments about Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows-Part 1? Well maybe all of you twits need a rocking chair and an eternal rest. You've got to be a century old...old enough to hate Harry Potter(I mean the character and not the actor). Or maybe you had so dysfunctional a childhood that you never developed the imaginative skills to believe in supernatural activity. My commiserations. Well for one thing, magic shows thrilled me when I was a kid, not so much now, watched P.C. Sorcar enough to be able to recite his tricks now and in their specific order but I still vehemently believe that Hogwarts is going to post me a letter soon. No wait, I'm just taking it for granted that you are a layman reader and you cannot read between the lines of the text. There again we know about how you spent your time in middle school developing the sentience towards Quantum Physics that will baffle other forms of complexities but we all know that you accidentally peed a little in your pants when you were too old to do that, you aren't cool enough. But of course you have a 5 digit figure of friends in your facebook profile and you get 51 comments in each of your pseudo poetic blog post, the title I'm looking for is, let me see, hmm, Nomadically No Mad? No, you're still not cool enough. You're a pompous little wannabe. Add yourself to the 5284739 things I hate about the world. A wannabe. And go far away, no farther away, yet a little farther, wait place yourself 23 light years away me and my blog.

So much for hating Harry Potter. Maybe it's the chillies in my curry.

Things that fail to grab my attention.

2010-11-27T01:01:00.006+05:30

Okay I seriously cannot keep pace with technology anymore. I'll tell you about the funnier facts.

20 years back when you would fight with your best friends you'd give them the cold look, nonchalant shrugs, then maybe as you grew older you showed the finger. Now, you delete them off your facebook friendlist. Whatever has happened to the display of emotions? I mean do you really expect me to scroll down my friendlist to check if you're still there or not? And then maybe if you're not do you expect me to sms you asking why because you're too much of a chicken to talk to me face to face? Wrong thought. High expectations. Everybody is not Mark.

And a doodle.

A story to tell.

2010-10-07T00:28:00.003+05:30

The chinese spam stopped! Woo hoo! Something I randomly sms-ed a friend for lack of creativity. Yes. I'm lousy.
It was a dark night. Windy. A dimly lit sky with only a few tiny twinkling stars. Heavy silence. The street dogs howled from some shelter that she could not locate in the darkness. The windows of the houses in the neighbourhood rattled madly as if possessed by some supernatural power. A chill ran through her nerves breaking into convulsions. It was eerie. She walked alone and the loud footsteps walked behind her. She gulped her saliva. Her mouth was dry. She cried to herself inwardly," Nonsense! Nonsense!" while at that very moment she could feel the threat of life's insecurity. The feet behind her shuffled. The brutal force in the atmosphere stirred. Whatever it was,it hated her. She knew this. Should she turn back and face it? Should she run with whatever energy was left in her? Her legs became heavy,she could not move. The footsteps were coming closer. Her heart was thumping loudly against her body that it could drown the noise of the wind. She turned. Gasped. Let out a stifled cry. The figure blurred,her head went dizzy.
She woke up amidst strangers panting for breath. Look around and shrivelled up seeing so many faces. Who are you? They asked. How did you come here? They demanded to know. What have you done to deserve this? They were curious.
Only one thought ran across her mind. What was the face? What was it? It was bony,wrinkled,the eyes were bloodshot,the corners of the mouth had phlegm . How could it resemble her?
It was getting hotter and lot more people surrounded her now. The cacophony around her was getting harsher for her ears. Then she noticed the people. They were different! Was she in heaven or in hell?

Take me home.

2010-09-19T16:50:00.004+05:30

It's so cloudy today. Some would say gloomy. But it's cold and cloudy and that is what I have learnt to connect happiness with. You won't understand what I want to express. And there's no particular word in English language to represent it and its emptiness makes me feel it more.
I listen to the band performances here,saunter about the huge malls,get happy. Only momentarily.
I recline against a bean bag and look outside the window through the glass while it rains and when I finally decide to open the window,the clouds rush in,the inconvenience seems trivial then.
She has got so much less of everything to offer and so much more to give than I could ever ask for. But she makes me happy with her green hills and her incessant rains and her pine trees that no human could ever provide for me. That's all I ask for. Where else can I walk amidst clouds?
That is where I and Ruskin Bond connect. He feels the same way for Mussorie as I do for Shillong.
Thank you Mr. Bond for writing.

(and a cheesy line: Shillong come to me,if I can't come to thee. That's the best I can ever rhyme.)

Too jobless.

2010-09-12T00:35:00.011+05:30

(Just why do I get spammed by the Chinese? I mean,Indian haters,accepted. But Chinese? I haven't even been mean to them yet!)

Rain in Delhi is amusing. It's like the clouds going through an adolescent phase;throwing tantrums, "Now I want to rain,I will rain bad!"
"Now I don't feel like and now I do! Just leave me alone!"
But I do not quite understand the people when they crave for rain when its sunny and vice versa because>>just-stop-complaining-and-shut-the-fuck-up-human!
It's not a very optimistic situation when Delhi starts stinking and my poor father rings me from miles away asking me to stay indoors because Yamuna has crossed it's danger level. My father's paranoia-moment(s) is hilarious maybe because I am convinced that my amazing life line won't let me die. Not in the floods. Not yet. That is not a graceful way of dying.

They will decorate Delhi for the Commonwealth games but how do they control the stink when it rains? Droopy faces,disappointment and excuses-a lot of it!
But do you not like the dirty slime on your legs? In his legs and her legs when they spread their hands and run before you? Wind and rain. And you walk behind them slowly. You smile. I can hear you smile even if I cannot see you.
*If you did not notice the new template,slap yourself thrice and jump off a cliff.

(Photo credits: Abhilasha Sachan)

Give me raises eyes

2010-07-30T03:50:00.002+05:30

"Give her! Give her! Okay take mine and give her!"

"Will you just talk?"

"Just give her!"

"See? She went away. I told you!"

Yes,I'm coming to the point. I get nervous around beggars. I shake fervently and try to surrender all I have because here they know "fuck you" and "bastard" and many more.

We're back!

2010-03-05T09:32:00.007+05:30

In my last post,I totally forgot to mention that when we went backpacking,we didn't brush our teeth for a whole day and night.You still love me a lot,right?You can make it sparkly clean in the morning but the colour is going to transmute back to yellow anyway.Uhh,I brush my teeth(generally speaking).
A'right so,today is Sexy Na?'s(Radhika Saxena) interludial day which comes back every 365 days,(read:Budday!Budday!) which reminds me,that I don't even have one.It's like those beauty products-got a manufacturing date and an expiry date.Nobody used this date to celebrate the presense of an unearthly person.I mean it's such a dormant date,nobody cares.It's only so much useful to me as a dead fish is to the sea.Why is it only a bunch of lucky homo sapien's prerogative to blow candles over a cake?This is insane!This is bigotry!

Let me see,when was the last time I really had a birthday?Ohh,I have seen photos of it,I look only a foot long,dazed,because I wasn't aware that it's a celebration.My mother used to at least bake cakes for me seven years back,but now,she'll be like "Ohh,you're so old,you don't need one."And my dork friends will say,"Ohh shit,can we shift it tomorrow?I really gotta meet my boy friend today(who is the dad of our generation)."

YOU CANNOT SHIFT BIRTHDAYS OK?It is not only free food,it's an overflow of emotions.It's like my parents met,and on this day that had me.I bet they regret it secretly and sometimes loudly.

And you know that I'm mother nature but I cannot do anything about the depletion of tigers,a'right?Not now at least.

Project Tiger is almost as old as I am and still tigers manage to die illegally.Instead of text messaging me,let the forest officials know that you have noticed that their houses are made of teak,mahogany and that you have a feeling that they hid a tiger's head or say a rhinoceros' head in the locker,and that their oh-so-pretty-fucked-up-rotund-will-implode-any-moment wife carries an illegal crocodile skin bag.I know a few of them,fathers of my I-shall-not-call-them-friends.They think I shouldn't be alive within a range of 2km radius around their house.It's unholy!I can insult almost as comfortably as I can breathe.I don't blow my own trumpet because I don't have one.

What does it take to not wear a leopard skin dress?It's not like you're pretty,well if you should know,you're excruciatingly ugly and that crocodile skin bag you carry,hates your very baneful touch and that beaver fur around your neck,well it only makes me say that you look better as a beaver than the beaver itself does.

I and this particular senior were discussing Delhi females and we evolved a theory that works for most,not exactly evolved because it was always there,steady.If you see a girl,you need to ask yourself a few question to know if that girl had been manufactered and brought up in Delhi or not.

Straight hair?Check.
Fair?Check.
Girly clothes(REALLY GIRLY)?Check.
Painted nails?Check.
Never looks better or worse?Check.
Has only one expression on her face?Check.
Looks the splitsvilla kind?Check.
Hugs her girl friends 50 times a day?Check.
Congratulations!You found your Delhi girl of dreams!

*I have this syndrome of invective speech,sorry.In case,you're all that is mentioned above^^I don't exist,sorry.

Like what the senior said,you have two types of jeans in your wardrobe-one that fits you well and a baggy one.When you're happy,you wear the nicer one and when you're sad,you wear the baggy one,so you look different on different days,but Delhi girls have got the same kind of clothes,so they only look good,never better or worse.

This man,whatever his name maybe,he gave me an insight into the lives of men.Well all I can say is,if females are bitches,males are male-bitches.Equality.

Ohh,incase you're into reading translated stories,the translation of Manto's stories by Aatish Taseer is way better than
Khalid Hassan's or Harish Trivedi's translations.

Dictionary:Asphalt-Blame the donkey.
Byeeee!

2010-03-04T22:02:00.001+05:30

I had to ransack my brain to guess my password because the last time I logged in here,was when I just began college,and
I'm on the verge of passing my first year now(I think).My college has a psuedo crowd,who likes you because you wore oh-so-
pretty a dress or because you've got oh-so-fake an accent,because you know a lot of people there who're like you,no matter
how dumb she/he maybe.Not cool.At all.They're all little barbie dolls.Secretly,I hate most.I DO NOT understand the way
cash spirals out of control.Now I have it,now I don't.The more I get to know humanity,the more I hate it.There's this
place,I call it Romantic because you have no idea,how it feels to be there alone at night,though I'm never alone there.
It's got a cheap burger selling restaurant on one side(it's my patent right to be there)and a railway track underneath.
The burger sellers know my face I think and have a strong feeling that I'm going to order a Don Burger.Funny name,yes.I
am a part of this music society,they're strong willed people,when they say practise,it means,practise till your throat
bleeds and your mind screams of boredom.I know my sentences are random but not that a serial post would matter much.
I went backpacking with a few people who have no sense of security whatsoever.But I liked it,it felt like I were a pauper.
Cold slices of leftover pizza for dinner.Unhealthy.The bus,utterly desolate,windows rattling like dentures of men who
are a century old,a rod in front you,which hits your head,the moment you fall asleep,free AC service even when unwanted...
pretty different from my luxurious trips with family.I have travelled alone for a quite a few times now and got immensely
bored all the time.Some unseen force seems to plan my trip with really retarded co-passengers.If it's a train,they'll be
old people,if it's a flight,they'll be sleepy foreigners.How much does it cost to just give a talkable handsome man?Ohh,
that reminds me that my room mate who's not exactly the brightest bulb around has a boy friend who texts her incessently.
Most of the time,she's in the next room in the Stupid Meet Of The Day(it's a very important meeting) and the SMS alert is
a whole song from God-knows-what movie.I think she's got a lop-sided face.My best friends are two dorks from a different
planet.A'right.Bye.

2009-07-06T11:09:00.003+05:30

An important notice:I'm in college,so screw them who refer me to as 'the kid'.Hard to accept or whatever OR whatever!Plus point is,I might not eventually emerge as the 'she goes bi the way'.It doesn't come 'that' close to the paradise I always wanted to be in,blame the polls,yea somehow it's related with the figures that ruined my life.I should have seen that coming and switched over to CBSE.I wallow in self-pity,self-pity because I worked hard and I'm more fucked up than all of us together.Those who have the feeling of vengeance and [now]accomplishment are happy[I pray that you all end up with bloody impotents].Don't get me wrong,I'm NOT in a lousy college but I'm not in my dream-college either.
And ohh,a few days back I worte an essay somewhere about some blogosphere and narcissim and as I read my older posts,I know why I chose it over other viable options.
Sad part is,I'll have to sacrifice my niceties,fit myself and my things in a gloomy PG and fight with people for my share of oxygen.I'm not even excited anymore.Every night I plan to make a list of things I'll need and then go shopping the next day.I still am unplanned and I haven't shopped for a thing and I'm leaving on 12th.I demand my food,bed and pet!Why can't the benefits of being in a cool college co-exist with benefits of living a comfortable life?It's always been the same with me.I'll whine for something until I get it and then whine because I want to rid myself off it.Fact:I don't want to attend college.Why did you even read this post?

2009-06-04T11:46:00.002+05:30

I can't solve the mystery of disappearing phone balance and I stopped poking fun at those people who talk on phone at night.I've joined their league.I talk from almost midnight and yawn sometime at 2.
A general idea of how my room looks like:
A bed without a bed cover so that I can 'plunge' in.Plunge because it has my denims,stacked newspaper of the whole week almost,'mah iPod','mah phone',umm..and Joseph and Myall.
My chairs,one has all the cushions of the other chairs,another has a heap of clothes and one has a bag.
'Mah table' has admission forms and the re-printed version of admission forms.My old man has gone bonkers and writes things like "EVE Purkayastha" beside "Name of the applicant" and makes me re-print the same sheet.I have three different types of passport and stamp sized photos because:one has a sad eyebrow,one has bad hair,and the other looks like a boho.Ohh wait,there's this book which I started reading with a lot of enthusiasm too:The Gita For the Youth.And occult books,yes.A few superstitions that go with me.And I have an upturned dustin,that was done so to trap roaches,there are two captives.Haw haw haw!
And jobless?Yes,very.

2009-05-30T21:45:00.004+05:30

I made it a point to blog after I figured that my baby sister is growing up to be anything but me.And 'me' is a better option than the other 'me's in my village.This is a frustating issue for me,that she's fast turning into those I grew up hating(well...mostly all):She's being uber-idiotic.She changes the clothes of the sorority slut:Barbie dolls 10 times a day,she plays Hannah Montana and I just figured that her wardrobe shouts PINK!I know she's a kid,in my days I'd watch scoobie do,swat cats and Captain Planet and Jhonny Quest,yes.I mean those are way too presentable!Hannah Montana is okhay to watch,what's the point of playing it[read:applying make-up in her fucked up face].This is depressing!She's going to belong to the 'in crowd' soon,and the in crowd people figure out everything a decade later.
Mr.God is bigot!Murphy's Law applies to every friggin case in my life,why?What's so interesting in popping my tiny dream bubble.I mean why target me out of million others?Plus,I was in the blood donation camp last night with friends and we saw someone uber cute.This is diabolical because I have become an anti-crush machine,I'll make "^_^" faces but never seem to have a crush.WHY?
And I always seem to bump into the people I wanted to ignore all my life.They bring out the atavistic nature[refer to crude stone age emotions]in me the moment they open their mouth.Before sleeping at night,I actually stare at the mirror and prepare a set of monologues that I want to say when I see them,interestingly whenever I meet them,the ratio is always 1:6 and I look weak,my legs shake,my nerves break into convulsions,I ignore them,swallow my monologues and try to be invisible.Well,Achilles had only an ankle and my every other body part is an Achilles-ankle.And though my larynx and tongue is wholly under my discretion,I choose to shut up.
And something's really wrong with my dysfunctional family,their only topic of discussion is college.I mean whoa whoa people,I am as concerned and interested in grabbing the life that my school-people sucked out of me.Can we just not shut up for a nano-second?There's this weird and utterly dumb habit of my mother,whenever I commit an error,be it venial,she'll remind me what I did in class 4 and then in pre-kg.If there's one person,who can time travel,she SURELY can.One of these days,if I turn on the web cam and commit suicide like the many other wannabes,it won't be too surprising for anyone.I like this blog page,this is the only thing that lets me rant.

2009-05-09T01:02:00.003+05:30

I hate humans.I really hate them.Waai?Something's terribly wrong with me.Even a Let's-lunch-together doesn't interest me.I'm a dole bledger.Waai?I want to stay at home,stare at the ceiliing until my eyes emit gamma rays,stare at every inanimated object and stay happy.Sometimes I stare at the same page of some random book for hours,I read but I don't see.Even if Jude Law had to stare at me with those sexiest eyes ever,I'd still be blank.I don't even talk,when someone's dying,I won't even want to know the cause.But I talk.to.my.dog.a.lot!So if one fine day he had to say Goodmorning,I wouldn't be surprised.I'm inactive,literally.Worse,I don't even sleep.But I know the theme songs of all the Hungama TV cartoon shows.And I keep calling Motagorilla a Motahati.It's a random character of some random cartoon.I speak only the blood diamond accent.Probably they'll start paying me the unemployment dole someday.I've become a fish,I stopped blinking altogether.It's not boredom.I like it this way.I plan to run away frequently but the choice of which clothes to carry decimates the whole plan,backed by the weather ofcourse.It rains when I don't feel romantic.Yea,humans.I hate all.The bad ones,the good ones more.And the mirror,ugh.

'Night!

WTF?

2008-12-18T20:14:00.005+05:30

I can describe it with three words:what was that?

AND,don't laugh.

Nope,hide that smirk too.

*sorry for the inconvenience*

Did I mention that I have seen a dog farting,snoring and sleeping on his back and sneezing like a human?Now you know it.

Khay bye!

2008-12-04T19:53:00.001+05:30

Tomorrow's technically the last day at school.When did I grow SO old?When did WE grow so old?

*No more Bong classes.Yeyeyeyey!

2008-11-05T20:18:00.000+05:30

It didn't matter where she was,if she wasn't there...she was always alone.

Bye.

Winged Invaders.

2008-09-20T20:34:00.005+05:30

I've got invaders in my room.
They came.
They saw.
They conquered!Argh!
I have got insects all over the room,on the wall,in my milk I drink milk,yea so?One tried getting inside my eye just now!A whole family of insect on the monitor,on my book...in every friggin place but outside the room.And hell!They bite!!
Forget all non-violence!Down with all insects,and my EVE book says human population will explode the Earth.I'll bring out the intrigant girl within me and spray insecticides all over!This will be a genocidal attack.
Bwahahaha!
I'll be attacked by the paparazzi and I'll hit the headlines of the insect world.They'll kiss my feet,those damned insects and pray for their life,I'll bring the Nazism in their world.

Now I must leave the room;they already started revolting against whatever I typed now.Those godammed insects will die a painful death.Know this,sinners,Diwali isn't too far!Haw haw haw!

People Are So [IRRITATINGLY] Like That-Part 3

2008-09-17T13:28:00.003+05:30

As if a dysfunctional family wasn't enough for me.Just last day,I and S were in the crowded market place,it was busier than it is,in a beehive.So S and I were blah-blah-ing away to glory.

S:Wanna try pizza?

Me:Nnnnnnnyessss!

S:Cakes R Us?

Me:Khay!

Then someone's hand brushed against my arm.Pretty normal,in a market.Next,the hand-guy comments something in Bong that we don't get and so we avert our eyes and thoughts.We're pretty used to, 'Hey gorgeous!','Hey blah!',Hey bleh!' So right,we keep walking and S espied from the corner of her eye that the man was still following.

Description of the fucktard:Eww!Ugly!Light coloured clothes that turned black.Ugh!

So yea,he takes the left turn and we take the right.How smart of us!And et viola!He noticed that we took a different turn and changed his way and came darting towards us,albeit at a distance of three feet.Let's just say,we were trying to be far.

S:Omg!Where's the shop,dammit!Let's get in somewhere!!

We already got into that adrenalin-rush phase by then.And then dumbass me suggested a new idea:

Me:Let's stop at a place and see if he stops too.

So we pause as if window-shopping coconuts and straws heaped beside a car and I turn around.Impressive,he stopped too.And then what I saw was way to gross,he slid his hand inside his pant and sent kisses in the air.*gasps*

Me:Holy fucking shit!

S:Wha..?

Me:Run for your life,someone just got something errected.

S:oh wha..

Me:He's masturbating,run!*grabbed her hand*

S:@##%$^&**^**!!!!!

And then our eyes-blinded,our legs gave up and we ran for our lives,between fat women,between paunches,stepped on dung,stopped cars,suspensed traffic,gathered obnoxious curses,came back home,put the pillow on my face and pondered,how much would it take to amputate it and feed that to the asshole!

Ugh!I.SO.FUCKING.HATE.BEING.A.GIRL.AND.BEING.MOBBED.BECAUSE.OF.IT!

Another incident that happened to A:

She was walking back home after writing her ISC exams and an old man[say 40] riding a bicycle,stopped beside her and said:Wanna see?See![Dekhte chow?Dekho!]And showed it. :O

Almost same kind of shit happened to M and U.For S and me,it was the first time.Now I learnt a lesson:A knee in need,is a knee indeed.

People Are Like That-Part 2

2008-09-10T12:28:00.004+05:30

Moral:Intelligent household helpers are a rare species.

This household helper comes running breathlessly to tell me about the assumed-by-her-apocalypse-day.She tells me breathlessly lookattheskysomething'swrongwithit.So with perfect agility I run up to my terrace tolookatthedefectivesky.If you live under the Silly sky,you must have had convulsions to have felt the donnern Sie und Blitz outside your window last night.Those nocturnal species who've been yapping over the phone must have dropped their phones out of fear and those who were under the spell of slumber woke up too,to see a diwali night-sky.P.s.-The lonely kind like me,tried to hug their mattresses too,I guess,for me it was my bedsheet.I wasn't scared just shaken because of the sound and one second later I realized that bedsheet isn't a hug-able thing.Ayway,back to the defectivesky,I go up and see convivial,brilliant looking sky sheesh!what a waste of energy.There was a rainbow,yes I HAVE seeen a rainbow,plenty of times before and the rainbow encircled the sun....erm..like a erm..teddy bear eye.A ball and a bigger ball,you get the drift of it,right?So yea,that's a new thing,I have never seen a teddy-bear eye in the sky.No beautiful sky,no romantic weather can bring out the poetic pleonasm within me whatsoever...so yea,instead of a luminary necklace around the sun,I'll use a teddybear eye to give you a vivid description.Anyway,you gotta be a jobless loser to be reading a description of a rainbow,like it were a kindergarten essay.Also,some aircraft left a line of smoke behind it in the stratosphere.So that's the defective part,I presume and to add to that,the etymological scientific experimentation that is likely to take place today has chewed upon people's brains.Poor people.Anyway,I clicked the picture of the sky with my blinding eyes,for it was so sunny outside though cloudy.Weird,huh?

Cheerio!

Death On A Tuesday.Sounds like a poem?

2008-09-07T01:39:00.005+05:30

I love my silhouette[clickhereassholes].You don't?Fuck off.

Tuesday is going to be the longest,toughest and the last day of my life.A day which begins with Maths,every other day begins with that,has got two Economics classes and a bunch of other fat women blabbering for 45 minutes each and a short dork trying to be tall,and women bickering about women,and an ugly looking squid for lunch,and chinkies grabbing copies and copying stuff like mad,and friends talking about their boy friends and an ugly,fat,ill-clad,protruding-muscled woman leaving sarcastic comments,and a room beside a green,grassy meadow,and drifting eyesight,then punishment,a round of Bingo championship,winning,submitting copies that'll be stamped by Puran Daju,a bus loaded with puking kids,peeing kids,shouting kid,kids with chocolates,a buxom,spectacled idiot,and others too,a tired,dead girl staring at a place with no kids and et viola,a kid rolls in,a red eyed chauffeur,unfinished lunched,unfinished conversation,unlocked cupboard,hasty exit,a nice but boring man's notes,giggles,phones beeping,a father and mother prying the girl's lips open to stuff in food claiming that she's underweight,a stupid sibling,a mad barking puppy,untouched homeworks,smoke,out of my mouth,fermented juice inside my mouth,dialing numbers,on hold for an hour,sad,dejected,lonely,unwanted,disconnected girl,slumber!Uh-oh!Long sentence.

Are we over with Tuesdays yet?*dreads*

If only. :'(

2008-09-02T12:31:00.002+05:30

Only if this smarty pants were to be 30 years younger,I wouldn't be searching for a date all over the galaxy.No aliens for me,no dumbass for me,only smart ass.Features you?Contact me.
But no,you must be married,engaged,gay,etc.Do me a favour?Just die!

People Are Like That.

2008-08-26T19:58:00.003+05:30

About the display board...I don't know.I never thought of making a model of DNA,sticking injections and blood samples.How did the red team do that? :O
Anyway,there was this folk dance competition yesterday and we volunteered to watch it so that we'd mishsh our mathsh clashsh.We did miss.How frustrated can a person get when she says,"Let's attend the Maths class instead." All the dances were THAT bad.
Also,a human had come to advertise the availability of the illustrated version of Oxford dictionary.He spent five minutes in cleaning his teeth with his tongue.Two minutes to fake an American accent.One minute to be laughed at. :D
Today,there was a classical solo dance competition.There was this girl in red who almost seduced some people.That was when I kept reminding myself "You are straight like a ruler." and narrowly escaped it.The song went like "Mohe Chum Le..." and I swear most had an orgasm.Okhay,exaggerating.But you get the idea,right?
Then there was this girl who danced...ermm..beautifully.Let's call her Snehashish Agarwal* and assume that the name is for a female.She kicked,punched,made weird faces,jumped about like a bunny rabbit.And I've decided to become a dancer now.Even I can do all that.
S looked pretty!She always does.Too bad she came out third.But still,that was something!
A retired art/craft teacher was invited for judgment.In those days she was famous for, "Sister,pot in my hand,pot in the ground,pot pottaash!" and "I have a husband,two male sons and a female daughter." Those were bright,colourful days.And with the microphone in her hand gripped tightly lest it pottaashes she said things like "All are winners,losers not heart,I miss you,I thank Sister,all of you my,the mudra was nice,very nice.Thank you." *claps* "I'd like to thank sister,my all of you,I miss you.The dances was nice." *claps* "I'd like to thank my staff.I love it here." *claps* "Tahole ekhon Bangla tei boli,mon theke...." *yawns* Question:Should we clap?
Anyway,after giving the translated speech,off the stage she went.I am not a perfectionist,I don't even hate humans who talk like that...but how the hell can you prevent yourself from laughing when a 'pot pottaashes'?
Cheerio!

*Name changed for ensuring the longevity of my life

Freak Me Out!

2008-08-22T00:30:00.005+05:30

Dear Green Team,

Sacks can't challege paper and you can't challenge me.Paper maketh cartoon and sacks maketh ermm...errm..loser cartoons. :D

Anyway,this is the unfinished mascot,her monologue is "Khadi condom is my birthright and I shall have it." If you have a bright brain,you may suggest better lines which you won't because Green Revolution destroyed the brain power.Sacks can't make Bangladeshi Flags,can they? :D Okhay,save rubber trees,enjoy it! ;)

Disclaimer:The characters who are the mastermind behind the loser ideas and the events depicted here are fictitious.Any similarity to actual dumbasses living or dead,is purely co-incidental.

Disclaimer 2:This post is for fun!Cheers!

Update:I changed the blog template.Blame my passionate state of mind.I'll miss the glittering fairy though...I'll put up her picture here.My tribute.
This template has 3 sidebars...that's supposed to be better than one.And it has got all that I wanted,a black base,and my recent passionate attack[read:red] and butterflies,for those who are close friends,old friends...they'll know that butterflies have been my favourite.Okhay,now,the final question:What do you think about this template?Think and see and you can tell me "I love it!" in the bus stand or in the class.No other comment other than "I love it!" will be accepted,morons.

See you in the display board competition tomorrow then.Luck.Love.

Sighs

2008-08-19T11:21:00.003+05:30

Okhay,I am still sick and I didn't go to school and right in the morning the doggie puked.He had eaten up two-three ants at some point of time and puked them out,along with yellow-yellow semi-solid stuff.*Pukes*
Guess what?My mother was getting ready for work and T.D. throws up if she gets to see such dirty thing,hot out of the stomach...SO they both went like,"Okhay you clean it."It's not even a request!It's like "We aren't cleaning it,so you'll have to do it,unless you want it to look like a Railway Station's Lavatory."And I DID!*pukes again* And my mum comes and pours water over the remaining yellow-yellow thing *gets hospitalized* so that it doesn't get sticky and TD goes like,"What will the mother-in-law say if you can't do such things?" Why?WHY?Jesus,WHY?
AND I CLEAN THAT TOO!I MOP THE FLOOR!And then I try to sprinkle the Phenyl and wow!Someone has removed the stopper so I pour a lot of phenyl instead and clean up the phenyl too and my house has started to smell like a Government Hospital where there's only phenyl and no doctor.

My Favourite Topic:Dogs.

2008-08-18T10:00:00.006+05:30

I went to my Grandpa's place last night for dinner and when we pressed the doorbell there were four dogs barking madly at us and they had no leash or anything and I thought they'd chew me up...and fellows are so nice!The oldest one is the biggest one,bigger than the German Shepherds,looks like a Golden Retriever and is an Indian species. :O Some strain from Nagaland.He's SO huge that you can use him as your mattress or pillow or anything and he's SO mild natured and SO loveable!His name is Jim.Then there's one Boxer,her name's Julie and she's the only one which responds by licking out of the four though she's the ugliest her attitude will tell you that she's a female if not her mammary glands.She looks ferocious,red eyes and sad face....but I am a good human,she didn't even scratch me save devouring me. ;) Dadi says that she's carried that sad face ever since her husband died. =/ I guess she's just a dog lover.Then there are twin brothers--Romi and Toni.They are Japanese Spitz.Tiny ones...total furballs!And they had another dog too,I forgot the name of the species,you know those dogs which are brown and black in colour and got black ears with curly fur and long snout.She was a nice dog.I'll put up their pictures when I carry the camera with me.They are wonderful and loyal dogs BUT my doggie is the BESTEST!

So what if it's more important for him to sleep soundly then to guard the house?
So what if he's small?
So what if he eats up insects?
So what if he's not photogenic?
So what if he's looking like a rat here?
Then so fucking what?
He's the best one in the world.
And I think he looks like a prince!

Today is V.A's birthday and the first thing I did in the morning was to wish her a belated birthday.That was me.

Update:I am/was really sick which is why I had decided to skip the party which I'd almost do if they wouldn't flood me with calls...incessant calls.It felt like it was my birthday and so if I wouldn't be there then "No party children,go home" kinda situation would take place,so I went; the birthday girl looked pretty so did M and U and I looked like a slug,like I always do.Oh wait,U:You're looking like,you are blushing for no apparent reason.Yes,so a blushing slug.Cute!And the rest is a secret,but a readable secret nevertheless.

Hint:If it's a prime minister,you elect for clothes you ________?That word is a hint.

So okhay,we go to a bar cum lounge and guess what we end up going inside the bar which has bar dancers,instead of the lounge.And then with each step more and more sniggers reach my ears and I go like "Ram Ram" .Anyway a waiter says,"Ma'am....family lounge?"And we all say YES! and we come to the lounge a breathe freely.For the first time in my life I saw a bar dancer and she was vulgar.Okhay,next we drink beer. =P Then I try mint food to get rid of the smell.Then we go out after getting drunk and we head towards another resto,we eat nice food there,then eat/drunk slush and then a muffin and head towards home.I was on a rickshaw then,incase you didn't know Bangladesh has the highest number of rickshaw and Silly,the second highest.We made a record.YAY!So yea whatever,I was in a rick and some good looking,tall,decent,literate guy suddenly came beside the rick,riding slowly to keep pace.And he spoke good English,didn't sound like he was trying for the first time.

Stranger:May we talk for a while somewhere?

Me:*No-nonsense-look*We may not.

Stranger:Please?A conversation?It won't take long!

Me:*still holding that no-nonsense-look*Look,I'm seeing someone and I think our conversation is SO over!

Then it started raining.This was the first time a decent looking,educated person did that.I whine so much in the blog and when it's time for action I become an over-smart actor who's seeing someone.Christ,why?Why am I so stereotype?

Anyway,thanks for that ego boost Mr. Whatever-your-name-is.You convinced me that every slug has its day! :)

Cheerio!

Random Stuff[that you might be envious of]

2008-08-15T12:19:00.011+05:30

Okhay,firstly,Happy In dependence Day(that was an unintentional spacebar malfunction).So anyway,Happy Day,either way.
We didn't have our parade.Bwafafahaha!Call that a weather malfunctioning.
We had Fr.Erwin as our chief guest.He said things like "Independence shouldn't be like my untamed hair,it should be like your neatly tied hair." Right.Whatever that meant.He's a nice man though very unsuccessful,for his jokes are usually accompanied by grunts more than laughs. =))

Anyway,we bought gifts for V.A.'s birthday.

Why I clicked the picture is because that bow on the gift makes it look like an insect.Take a closer look,see if you can figure out the antennae.Also,the card is very apt for the situation.I hope it's more than a pint or two for me.We bought that casket because we had extra money with us.Best part is everything was bought according to my choice.I don't mean to brag...well,I'll just boast.I BUY THE BEST THINGS!I think I'm done. :D

And this is just a random picture I clicked in the morning because I wanted to waste time and not eat it.I always do,I mean not eat healthy things. :D

THAT'S PROBABLY THE BEST PART OF MY LIFE!Papa brought those.Are you envious?Tell me you are!Hence,from today,the synonym for luck will be 'J'.I can't believe all these will make into my mouth! :O You should. :D
Okhay cheerio!

Of Pests And AIDS.

2008-08-12T21:21:00.009+05:30

Let's just say that you can't get any sadder!
From today everytime I call you a 'Hebron' you'll read it as 'asshole'.
That's right,I make my own synonyms.
The parade pratice for 15th August got started.We stand height-wise in a descending order.
The first time we gave it a try,it started drizzling,then downpouring!
And for the first time,in a long time I bowed my head and prayed and sang "God is so good".
Next time the old fellow ditched me.
When I say parade practise,you needn't laugh at me,I do it pretty well.You should see a few people marching.I really can't seem to figure out HOW THE HELL THEY MANAGE TO SHAKE THEIR BUTTS SO MUCH WHILE MARCHING!
But that isn't much of a problem.The Hebron who stands behind me is!
Hebron:Eyyy!
Me:Yes?
Hebron:Eh,listen!When you go wrong,I'll say "Hey you!You are going wrong!"
Me:Right.

What the fuck is that,now?

Hebron:Don't talk!That is the rule!
Me:Right.

Hebron:Hey you!Jog!That is the rule!
Me: -_-

Hebron:Hey you!Don't sit here!
Me:Everyone IS!
Hebron:No,you shouldn't THAT is the rule!
Me:Fuck you!Fuck your rules!

Hebron:Hey you!You're taller than her,stand before her.
Me:No.
Hebron:That is the rule!
Me:*dies and goes to Heaven and punches God for creating the Hebron!*

You get the hint?YOU GET THE HINT AT ALL?!

Also,we'll have our display board competition sometime in the next week.Topic is AIDS.
These are the various ideas from various people:

P:There'll be two charts-one on the advantages of AIDS,one on the disadvantages.
D:We can draw in a chart too.One man will cut his hand and the girlfriend will suck the blood and get AIDS.
Me:*LMAO*
D:Or we can draw sexual intercourse too. =/
Me:Yes,in a black chart paper we'll write "Here two people are having sex in the dark.You can't see it pervert!" =))
A:No!We'll draw prostitutes!*giving an i'm-so-intelligent look*
Me:Somebody kill this cracker!

Okhay,cheerio!

Fest-2.

2008-08-10T13:04:00.003+05:30

From today Information On Demand will be know as IOD.
IOD:
1.There was a dance presented by Air Force School yesterday which was supposedly based on "Prevent Water Pollution".A few steel coloured boys came and danced,one had a flabby chest. :P
Then two copper coloured girls danced and then there was a long blue cloth and lastly the fisherwomen came and the flabby chest fell in love and I pressed my hands to my ears because they created noise pollution.
2.DBS dancers are boneless chickens.
3.We secured the 2nd position...the first is out of consideration.It's reserved for cheater cocks EXCLUSIVELY!
4.People find the MC cute.Haw!
psst!ppsst!I think the Mc is cute too. =P
5.This was the last Fest for me. :'(

Fest.

2008-08-09T19:54:00.005+05:30

Firstly,Happy Belated Devil's Day.I didn't know such a day existed...but what the heck,eh?
I had written a long post on the Fest and then the PC turned off suddenly.And I'm pissed.Therefore there's nothing for you to read here.
Just fuck off!

Gobbledegook.

2008-08-05T10:42:00.003+05:30

There isn't much to say,maybe there is,but I'm just a lazy slob.
I didn't go to school.*turns devil*
I enjoyed a first class edible Friendship Day.If only friendship was edible.Bands were ruled out for me this year.Just edible material,so I have got a whole granary here.

I have learnt Pashto.
See-->Da ze ziba watan,da ze ma dada watan.And if the English translation wouldn't be written,I'd think that it means:The ze ziba country,The ze mother-brother country.
There has been a phone call recently from a caller who loves pretending that he's an animal.So it's entertaining and I don't hang up anymore instead encourage him to bring out his undaar ki aatma. I can bring out those sounds better than him though.

I've been watching a lot of cooking shows,I don't cook any better now however.Cooking the food is easy:Boil the food,don't mix spices,cook with wine and things you can't think of eating with,make it the least edible.....and you've made your first non-Indian food.Smart,eh?

As for the woman in the previous doodle-post--I've mugged up the fact that this woman is a sad,pathetic women.It's a birth defect.Her questions and comments are replied to with grunts and smirks these days and if the next post is captioned as "I got suspended for a week from school" don't look suprised at all.

Scouts' Fiesta now known as Bosco Fest will be held on this Saturday.Wheee!If you're reading this Sayan dada you can expect to read some facts on the current 'pathetic-loser-generation' of Boscoites thriving in the school on this Saturday.The school's running out of cute single UHOs[read:Unidentified Handsome Objects]. =P
And anyway,you know that I've my eyes only on you. *guess guess* ;)

Also,I bought a new diary for my journal entries and it's so cool!I can't take my eyes off it.So now it's famously known as my new bride in my household.Courtesy:Mum.
It looks like a chess board-my new bride,my noor.
That was her.

That's all.
Con amore. (:

This Is How I Do It.

2008-07-28T23:55:00.006+05:30

Correct.So this is how I go to school.
Today was some Naxalite's birthday.Happy Birthday!Every year we get a holiday on this day.Today we didn't.
My bus leaves at 8:00 a.m. Going to the bus stand takes 15 minutes.

7:45 a.m.
*still sleeping*
*phone rings*
U:hey we've got school or not?
Me:Umm..zzz...right.
U:we got to go to school??
Me:NO!Nobody went to school.
U:I think we'll have school,i'm pressing my clothes.
Me:nah!i'm sleeping,bye!

7:48 a.m.
Mum:You have school.The neighbour kid went away.
Me:right....WHO??WHAT???

But there was an option there,she could have asked me not to go to school because there was no way that I'd make it to the bus stand on time.But no,she pressed my clothes,gave me a cup of pomegranate juice in a square shaped cup[wtf?].Before that thing could make it to my mouth,it settled comfortable on my shirt.Wonderful!
We both shouted at each other,but she'd send me to school anyhow.My rascal sister feigned sickness and stayed back.*swears*
By the time,I was done[without taking a shower] it was 8:05 a.m. ....but I still had to go to school,innit?
So a neighbour gave me a ride on his 'tuk tuk tuk tuktuktuktuk..trrrr' kind of bike.That was the sound.I couldn't miss it,could I?
And I made it to school.
At school:
S:Someone just got up from the bed and came to school.
Me:STFU! *swears more*

So,this is how I do it.This is the art.This is it.

Moral:Kill the principal,kill the bus driver,kill the neighbour kid,celebrate everyone's birthday,tie your mom to a chair and lock the door,kick your sister on the day before the prospective holiday.Then sleep and quit talking to geek friends.

Doodle 8:I Do It Everytime,Ranju.So?

2008-07-26T10:10:00.006+05:30

The bomb belongs to the deserving ass,in the world of Economic,NOW UNDERSTAND THIS!
BOP is ALWAYS balanced.I'll tell you why;because credit has to be equal to debit EVERY fucking time.When trade is carried on without considering the BOP account it's autonomous receipts[for me]and payments.When BOP>BOT,my relatively tolerant mouth can't shut the fuck up,only 'just' though.Hence to balance my trade,I shove up a bomb in your ass,and you blow up.That is accomodating capital outflow.Fair enough,my ears blew up because of your affinity towards 'you do it everytime.'
Someone mail my blog link to this inept,narcissist bitch!

Now only if I were a real millitant.Only Alice gets to comment here,I learnt up too much of Economics,eh?

The July Post:Tagged.

2008-07-25T19:17:00.005+05:30

I am:I am an animal.I am a human.I don't see any difference between them.
I think:Frankly speaking,I don't think.Logically speaking,I can't!
I know:That you can't match upto my calibre.
I want:A my driving license,please!Daddy are you reading?
I have:A dysfunctional family. :P
I wish:That the wishes upon a shooting star would come true.
I hate:R.P.
I miss:Papa.
I fear:Reptiles.
I feel:That it'd be best if I'd get to be an Empress of any sort.
I hear:Ranjita's bullshit.No one listens to her anyway.
I smell:Shadow and Royal Mirage and Jovan,for this month atleast!
I crave:For a date? =/
I search:For an adventurous date?
I wonder:If I'll even get to see Egypt.
I regret:Going to school.
I love:Papa.Period
I ache:For Shillong,right now.
I am not:The person who you want to be like.
I dance:NEVER.
I sing:In the bathroom.
I cry:Never in public[M,are you reading this?]
I don't always:Crack laughable jokes.
I fight:With bullies.
I write:Stories and dissertations for school.
I win:Arguments.
I lose:My temper mostly.
I never:Hit anyone.
I always:Balance.
I confuse:People confuse me.
I listen:To nothing that Syrup will be interested in.
I can usually be found:In school mostly! :(
I need:MY OWN CAR!
I am happy about:Whatever is happening,right now.
I imagine:Nice things that aren't presentable,else I'd be Salman Rushdie.
I tag:M and Sammok.

Happy Golden Jubilee To Blog Babe!

2008-06-25T19:11:00.003+05:30

This is the 50th post,happy golden jubilee,blog babe.Here take a piece of cake,babe.Got no money to buy champagne,babe,don't ditch me for that petty an issue,please!

Conversations:
M:Ah poor you,harmless creature!
Me:*nods*
M:aye and stingless too.
Me:*nods*Hybla Bees.
Us:*Loafs*

So if you got a hint(which obviously you didn't,know-it-all) I wasn't talking today,I just fucking couldn't talk!I can cut myself from talking,but not bickering about laughable issue[read:human masterpieces].So I carried a notebook and a pen to write down comments AND today we bade farewell to Sr.Sheena,aha!what an oppurtunity to scrutinize the farewell program and write down pages of criticism.If you say that critics are generally a group of people who don't know how to do something,you are absolutely right,those dumbasses just don't know how to criticize at all!How disappointing!
So I'm typing down a few comments off my notebook.
On the Tamil song(no offence meant,but since I don't know a thing about this language,the song sounded outright funny to me):They are saying the same word throughout or what?
On the song "Seasons in the sun" by class 10[read:idiots]:
Me(at the starting):It's as exciting as unwrapping gifts-this song.
M:It's nt DAT "hard to die" if you are listening to it(if you don't know,the lyrics goes like Goodbye my friend,'it's hard to die')
On the suitcase gifted to her:Suitcase symbolizes,"Pack up and move on,baby!"
On our appalause at her entry:Vottay cunning plan!We are clapping because it is her Farewell Day!
On Sr.Margarette's "Bye Bye Sheena,I love you and I'll miss you" speech:
M:Sali hypocrite!(OMG!ROTFLMFAO!)
When bored:
M:According to Babylon(the teacher who was anouncing)we'll miss her @ home,can u guess wen?
Wen I'm flushing the toilet!(oh yea!and potty too,such a potty woman!)
When bored to the core(Topic:Some random man,what else is interesting during those moments?):
Me:They are kameena because they lose their insight with their eyesight!
M:Hmm.
Me:It's generally noobs who beat us in this game!
M:Fuck!I never noticed!
When Sheena starts singing a song:
U:We are listening to poorly composed opera.Tch tch.

Okhay so that was it,Sheena's song is the kind that is appropriate for the item "Ghost Ballet" by Ghost Dukhiyari Bhatakti Huyi Aatma for "Sssh,Phir Koi Hai".
Just because I wasn't talking everyone else started acting-talking like me.See my power?And when I said a word instead of writing by chance,they were like,"OMG!You are talking!"
Well,biologically speaking,I possess a vocal chord so I can't pretend to be dumb 24*7.
Incase you are thinking,I'm a new born baby who's learning to talk,well,I'm not.
No,not even a dare.
I fucking chewed up my tongue and lips while chewing dinner,innit?

Doodle 8:Crushed.

2008-06-23T16:03:00.004+05:30

And what happens if you see someone uber-cool?

This is the second...errm...romantic fling.The first wasn't a fling,or a bad choice,or a case of getting ditched or ditching or the term called relationship for that matter.Nothing was wrong there except myself.I have never embarassed myself so much in my life and I donot regret it.Also,i have learnt not to learn from my past mistakes so I haven't forgotten anything,haven't moved on,haven't cursed,etc.

So,whatever,this is the second.The difference is,he is beyond the coolest limit of appearing cool.You'll feel like being in a deep freezer,he's tall,he's much older than me and we don't know each other and are never going to see each other.

He wore a decent shirt with green[a nice soothing green] pinstripes all over,nice jeans.He wore his pants on his waist well above his *ahem* dick. :D No bling.A watch and a cigar in his hand,the other had a malboro packet.Clean shaven.Fair.Nice hair,unkempt though..AND HE IS THE COOLEST BONG I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY WHOLE LIFE!Literally,i mean it!He is a bong i know it,his face said it and his friend's face also said it.In all probability his surname is Sen or Bannerjee or Chatterjee or...Purkayastha.Generally,people with those surnames look a li'l too different.He's 20-21 years old...i guess.Roughly,he looked like this.

I drooled at him for 5 whole minutes,maybe with my tongue out,saliva dripping down,like a hungry dog.But I didn't do it first,I was staring at crow which looked electrocuted and then I turn around and see that some uber-cool person is staring.For all i know,it must have been the crow that he was staring at,but I'm just pleased to have seen him face to face.I thanked the crow and thanked God,even 15 seconds will work out fine,I swear!Possibilities are,I'll never see him again,he's committed,he wants to be a priest,I'll be a nun,everyone else will go to pubs,everyone!Fraands,friends,best friends,cousins,neighbours,best neighbours,dumbass classmates,don classmates,digital friends,digital love,digital brother,biological sister,possibly my doggie too,every friggin person i'm associated with.
D'oh!Please good Lord,let the image stay behind for a few more days,please!Only a few more days.

Nice dreams,I've been getting but the face gets blurred with each day passing by.

Khay,bye.

Signed with love,forever true.-J

Doodle 7:Matter Of Fact.

2008-06-20T20:44:00.006+05:30

ALL TEACHERS ARE GODAMMED NARCISSIST SADISTS!!

and to encapsulate the bad day,it started off with those cyclonic rains.It must have been raining like mad in Darj. since it was freaking cold here and thanks to my typical authoritarian mum and geek friends,I didn't bunk school.My mother never asked me NOT TO ATTEND SCHOOL,infact if I had 2 seconds left to live life,she'd rather make me spend that time immersed in books,IN SCHOOL!I called my geek friend.It went like this:

Me:Hallo?Going to school.

Geek:My mother is asking me not to go....but

Me:Yea whose butt?

Geek:We'll miss maths class.

Me:#%*@ you!

So I go to school,get a seat next to the window and when I stand up,for a few seconds my ass feels damp and skirt feels wet.I thought I had peed.And the butt never dried neither the skirt.I've had goosebumps all day long,yearning for a blanket.Half of the class was empty,so the teachers exempted us from teaching.My eyelids rallied for a shutdown.Then S insisted that we go to watch Chronicles of Narnia.I come back home,get my butt dried and ring mum to ask if she'd let me go.Everything was set,I just had to enquire if my Maths tutor could teach some other day instead of today and he says,No,you can't go.It's a wonderful day to solve problems,exactly,solve mine,just teach some other day.Today we'll solve nice questions,Ooooh!I'm so excited!!BUT if you want to go,I don't have anything to say.Okhay I get it.
So I get the plan cancelled,today was the last date,no Narnia for me.
ALSO,I have been wanting to talk to a few people godammed much...but cold wars prevent me.So today I mugged up that the antonym of love is indifference,not hate.
Oh wait,I almost missed something,last night,I prepared to watch the soccer match between Germany and Portugal and my cable connection walked right out on me,NOBODY dumped me that bad!Those are the times when I think thoda aur wish karo,dish karo.

Okhay bye,may you share the same fate as mine.
Indifference,
J.

Autobiography:Not A Hyperbole.

2008-06-14T22:08:00.009+05:30

You'll never aspire to be me and will preach that to your kids too.For some supercalifragilisticexpialidocious(phew!spacebar is working a'right!) situations which always has me as the central character.Why?Good Lord?Why me of all?

Friend:Have you read Love Story,Jubs?

Me:and since when have you started reading?

Friend:Did you read it,Jubs?

Me:No.why?

Friend:Really,NO?!?

Me:A 'REALLY' no.

Friend:Eat Shit!

I read this love story named 'Love Story'.In the class.Reading...reading and still reading,now giggling a little too.Reading the 'physical initmation' scene.....and then the teacher sees a book with a lot of hearts in the cover,in my hand,a rare situation and demands to see it.Very nice,Jubs,eat shit!Turns to read the very page that I was reading,aha!physical intimacy!Die,Jubs,just die!I just keep pretending that I'm invisible,that no one can see me.M almost dies laughing beside me.What's so horrendously funny anyway?Buddha loves and Jesus saves.The teacher is some unmarried young lady and it was a free period.The last time I got caught reading a book was in Maths class,which wasn't a free period(which never is a free period)and he didn't return the book for almost a month.Everyone has her own idiosyncratic way to cope up with different situations,mine-laugh till you get tears.

Question:What kind of future do you dream for your coutry?

What others have said:I want India to be the richest country,don't want no shitty terrorism in it,don't want no poverty in it,don't want no bad politics in it.I want India to be the best country.

What I wrote:I want India to be hygenic,so that next time when I read a book written by an American which mentions India,it necessarily isn't linked to having given the protagonist a diarrhoea.Nothing funny,even there.I really want it that way.

Tea:What is a simple sentence?

The best possible answer:There are three kind of sentences-simple,complex and compound.Now beat that!

The best possible reply to that:Impressive non sequitur,smarty pants!Write down impositions,NOW!

The best possible answer back on your mind:How cogent,Watson!

The few messages that I receive daily in my Gracious Phone:
1.Bitch XD.Vaaary funny!
2.I'm alive!
3.you know the rest,sweet cake,why don't you just cooperate and send some 'I love you'?When will you ever learn to cooperate,you bastard?when?

Bottomline:You don't want to be me,honey,never!You won't even want to send a 'I love You' message to me.But don't fuck off,anyway.

Cheerio!

Bull Crap-Part 2[The emo] and 'Other Matters'

2008-06-12T11:46:00.009+05:30

I had pardy-pardy yesterday,with 'goo ol frns'....that too after a long time.Played Hadicapped game,in which I sat on a chair which has wheels[the game came in unintentionally],doesn't mean it's a wheel chair and I wouldn't sit on normal breakable-plactic chairs or wooden chairs,so to make me get up the others kept rotating the chair....and I gave up being a cripple and everyone took turns in getting crippled.Next we discovered after a long time that with the self-timer on,all of us can be present in the photographs and so we clicked REAL weird photos of ourselves,some of which we promised not to show to anyone! Click here to see our 'The Finger' picture.Our other antics are censored stuff.

So here goes the Emo profiles:

Name:♥Deadrose♥/ *insert any other sad name with two hearts on either side*
Introduction:I am odd.I ♥ bubble wraps =]
Some interesting introductory message i had stumbled upon : For all those Emos who keep unoriginal emo pics,atleast keep your original emo pics yaar,i just hate unoriginal things!
Interest:Gore and more gore,i ♥ it!
Song: I wuv avril!i <3>

Books: aww c'mon!they need time to be sad. :(

They way they talk:

1.Hey bestie,i wuv you!i <3>2.Ur higgghhhhh niggaaahh!! :Dw000tttttily <3>

3.Imma fly with you! =D

The Best Part!The pictures you generally see in their album....I nicked it off someone's album just to post here,secret okhay?

1.Notice how they protrude their lips.This is almost mandatory in all their snaps
2. clickheresighs

3. That's how the hair should cover their eyes.LMAO!

Okhay so that's it,enough of acting snobbish,forgive me Mr.God,forgive me album owner..no harm intended.One of those who read my gobbeldegook can volunteer to become my body guard!PLEASE DO IT!

Cheers!

Bullcrap:Part 1[The General]

2008-06-08T11:47:00.005+05:30

Some things that I have been seeing for ages now,in orkut.
Username:@nKit@ RuleZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!/I h@\/e Ma oWn @tTiTuDe!!
About me:I m da koolest girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!/ *insert any linkin park song*
Favourite Book: One night @ call centre!!!!!!!!!!!!
Favourite Actor: Leonardo Di Caprio!!!!Daniel Radcliffeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!i luv him!!!!!!!
Favourite Song:Titanic song!!!!!!!!!!!

When you start conversing with one of them:
Dickless dude[DD]:hii!!!!!!!!!!
You:yea.
DD:wat's uppppppp????????!!!!!
You:Ceiling.
DD:hehe,good jokeeeeee!!!nywayzzz wat's upppppppp?????!!!
You:Fan.
DD:watzzz ur name??????
You: *insert your name*
DD:do u hav a phone????i hav ma phone,wat's ur numbr,plzzzzzzzz????????
You:oh,crap. =/ bye!
DD:no,plzzzzzzzz!did u angry on me,wat's ma falt?????????plzzz dun gooooooo!!!wat's ma falt??
You:naaaaaaathingzzzzzzz!!!still,bye. =/

Pitures you see in their albums:

1.A shirtless John Abhraham,captioned "kooooooooooooool!!!!"
2.Some other random but cute looking model wearing some suit,captioned "sweeeeeeetttt!!!"
3.Some beautiful woman,captioned "ma luvvvvvvvvv!!!"
4.Picture of the person[generally 'himself'] showing the finger,captioned 'attituuuddeee!!!"
5.Picture of the person with his friends,all sitting on their own bikes,captioned "DHOOOOMMMM!!!"
6.A picture of their N95,which their dad gifted them and also went bankrupt after that,captioned "ma cellll!!!!"
7.Picture of a laptop which they generally pass as theirs,with the orkut window open,captioned "ma laptoppp!!!!"
6.Picture of their dads and brother sitting beside the laptop,captioned,"ma daddddddd n brooo,so kooool naaa!!!!"
7.Generally,a picture of themselves,shirtless,captioned "thiz is meeeeeeee!!!!!"

Conclusions:
1.They haven't ever read any book except one night @ call centre,and I seriouslydoubt if they can REALLY read!
1.5.Yea okhay,u r da kewwwlezzzzzzzttttttttt!!
2.They haven't watched any English film except Titanic,got no idea what other hollywood actors exist,except Leornardo[Blood Diamond isn't bad,by the way],got no idea how othersongs other than Titanic song sound like.
2.5.*insert your own set of slangs* as for me,i'll go with 'coconuts'!

Next post will be on Emo profiles.
Cheerio!

Quotable Life Of Good Gracious ME!

2008-06-04T21:53:00.004+05:30

An advice I love to love like I'd love my love which obviously I don't have to:

"My dad always said that you shouldn't lie cos you'll have to tell another ten lies to back it up.However,Hardjit'd taught me that if the back-up lies are good enough,then so fucking what?"

Random Things I Hate[100.105 Version]

Before you point me out that it was a smart idea,I figured that out pretty early.Much before someone actually penned it down,for the sake of it.I have learnt to loathe my private Maths class by now.I completely detest it.Solving out not-solvable problems in a graveyard is no fun especially when women with XXL sized bellies who keep watching Saas Bhi Kabhi Jamai Babu Thi and whatever follows next and complain that their household chores is a never ending job and men with bigger-than-their-faces moustache and bigger-than-themselves paunch sleep like dead donkeys while the galli-don steals there car keys with their kids between them,in a sweltering summer noon with no trace of rain-bearing clouds.Re-read the sentence,yes,it is big.

It's just the Prof. and me and the 80 kgs book with pages which say "500 different way to shit under the sky" or something like that,all you have to do is calculate.

A year back,it wasn't funnier but tolerable,yes,I'd take breaks from pretending to solve things and look at the oh-so-not-look-able boy,who techincally was older and shorter and looked like he would in his dad-hood years.Resembling a chimp in so many ways and so much hair to show *shudders*.He left the tution.Left me alone,alone with mosquitoes and books and a Prof.

So yea the whole point of describing this was that the thought of attending the overweening class gives me lachrymose eyes,you can water your plants well with the tears.Everyday Friday and Sunday i keep hoping that the alarm clock will ditch me.But then far from lending a tiny bit of succor it always wakes me up in the perfect[est] time!So this devil idee fixe grasped my unholy sinistral mind,duh!it is the best-est mind ever,I dream of nuddy pornstars signing autograph,I dream Aishwarya Rai's face getting eaten up by a three headed monster,the second mouth has SRK for having invested his fortune on Kewlkata Night Gowns,the third can have some random person whom I don't like that could be you too. So okhay,I set the alarm to ring an hour later,and I purposely wake up late, aww c'mon,it's the godammed alarm clock that did it!*innocent-est of all innocent looks*.

Next class,this is what happened:

Tee:What happened the last day?

Me:*realising that saying that the alarm walked right out on me wasn't an effective lie*I had..um...some umm...sort of skin disease,sir.. wtf?

Tee:whaa? :O what happened?show me?

"Hardjit'd got this another rudeboy rule,you see.The rule says that if you're having trouble explainin shit to your elders,especially to your parents,just start throwin in more complicated words and maybe even a bunch a capital letters an they'll just give up tryin to understand."

Me:uh-oh!Thing thing is up on my thigh sir,contagious,the dermatologist says.*confident look*

Tee:what's the name?

Me:oh...um..that thing...oh holy fucking shit!sir,that thing...basal cell....BCC..

For all I know that it's some kind of cancer, :D

Tee:oh,=/ huh?open up your book.

Me:Just to make sure* Do you like Biology,sir?

Tee:No,just Maths,'nuff said!Open up your book.

So yea,now you know why you should lie,and lie it well,re-read the bold sentences over and over again and you'll grow up to be cool like me,seriously,wtf?

Bickering

2008-06-03T12:42:00.007+05:30

And you always dreamt of hollow cheeks,a body with no flesh in it,pouty lips,a manly chest,designer clothes on you,designer stilettoes,designer handbang,designer *insert possibilities*,your picture in some fashion page of a newspaper or say a fashion magazine.

You craved for all that since they called you fatso,in school and even now just to make sure your skeletons nudge you to ask other,"Am I looking fat?" And so you feel real nice when you are told,"Wow!You look thin[like a malnourished twig]" so skinny that your foetus wouldn't fit in your stomach.You often feel proud because you faint,it reminds you that you are thin.

You want to be a model. :)

And then you end up wearing this!Aren't you looking gorgeously dumb?

Only if that'd fortify you from being laughed at.Been there,done that?
Corrupted choice of clothes.Ingenious you,and you ingenious designer.so yea,sensible people are never going to look like 'whoops!-i'm-caught-in-the-middle'.No,never.

Happy Wearing Alien Clothes Day!

Nice to see aliens so interested in walking the ramp on Earth.Hold on,isn't that an alien?Comic character? Fine!Thou soothe my complacent eyes whatsoever!

Doodle 6:Revelation.

2008-05-22T11:16:00.002+05:30

Pope Benevolent II was here,just thought i'd let you know.

Hurting any religious sentiment is purely unintentional.

Friends,Lovers and Yetis...

2008-05-21T13:07:00.003+05:30

~SASQUATCH~

~YETI~

Fair skinned Lovers,this is for you,though I'm not sure if any exists.
Dear White-skinned Lover(s),since you know it (now) that yetis can look cute,though they have a Gorkha dagger in their left hands (as in the 2nd picture),you'll be referred to as Yeti now[^_^].
You can always get a chilled drink for you and for me with the snow [in your right hand].
AND since I'm brown you can call me sasquatch,though I could do with a lighter shade of brown.
I have a chainsaw in my hand,so don't stray for other Cutequatches.

Okhay,enough of infinite stupidity,blame the pink blog of Niyara.

"Is" It Doodle 5?

2008-05-19T20:48:00.004+05:30

Is that an emo?

Is it true that you cry wherever you go?

Are those converse keds?

Do you slit your wrist at night in your bed?

Are those lips blue?

Is it ugly you?

Hate.

J. :D

Doodle 4:Heat the Beat.Swap!

2008-05-14T21:26:00.004+05:30

So Idiots,Losers,Happy Beating the Sun's Heating process.I'm sure you are all terrific losers.

A scientist has invented Tong Tongue,which works basically like a tong,more like a snake's tongue.It's slit in the middle and thus it enhances double licking method of two different food.

She's made her name up on the Flimflam Book Of Odds.The tongue can hold food too.Friction baby,friction!FICTION?

Also, Illicit Ice Cream Co. made the biggest ice-creams ever-Tuty Fruity and Black Current flavours.It also made it to the Flimflam Book Of Odds.Did I mention?

The Big Brains had a collusive agreement and now it's like Get Set...DECEIVE!

This is the rough idea of the advertisement that i've come up with.They want people to chill.

The thing is,the Scientist and the Entreprenuer are the same person.

I think there's a Grammatical error there^^.

That's right.You can't figure out,where.

Now you are even beginning to doubt if there's any mistake at all.

The correct word will be the caption of my next post.So wait till then.I guess,i just need a name for my next post.

Oh wait,there are no readers here and no,i'm not a purist.

You'll know the name of the Scientist and Entrepreneur later.

ppssstt!*me!me!*

Stormy Morning Blues And DEEP DEEP Crimson's'

2008-05-08T15:22:00.018+05:30

Rain Clouds in the sky,
I don't know why
They make me blue,
When I'm thinking of you
Maybe they want to cry,
As I walk on by Hiding my tears, in a world of good byes

Love during summer rain,
Causes no pain 'cause I'm looking back,
At you once again,
Memories crowding my mind,
You're one of a kind,
Life with out love, I'm helpless I'm dying.

Try to smile once again,

As they slash in my window pain
I quiet like that,
I don't mind I've got no complaint

Rain drops and dance, strange kind of romance
I don't know why whether to cry out loud,

But I'm feeling fine watching the rythm of the rain falling down

Rain falling around, it's just the sound I like to hear,

When my heart's feeling down.

A lot of wind.Strong wind,slapping at your face.

Blowing through the window.

Papers,curtains and clothes flying around,like kites...

and then,summer storm.

Clicked.Saved.For some other stormy day.

I seem to have a strong affinity for red and silver sparkle hearts,did I mention?

I'll teach that to my kids[as well]---the ones who'll live in a orphanage that I'll take care of,

when I get into the sorority congregration.

I'm putting up lyrics of an awesome Indian song,along the dreamy dreamy romantic pictures.

Am I not romantic?HELL YEA!I have superfluous romanticism in me.I'll show you when I be a Mother,like Mother Teresa.

I find romanticism in my fathomless solitude,in a stormy day.An animated loneliness at night.Separation.Blogs in black much like ladies in black or Men In Black[part I,II *i lie!i lie!*]

The pathos I create in your mind,everytime I say "Even that dumbass went out for a lunch date,yesterday!" :D

The disdainfulness I show at inferior creatures.Mocking and laughing at people,I won't give up.

When I spend hours laughing and mocking at myself,it does justice to my nature when I do that to you.>>>>>Romanticism.More like Scornful Romanticism.

I'd also find it romantic if you'd not make that 'WTF'-look while reading it and would not gracefully swear at me,silently. Just make it short,as they say brevity is the soul of wit.

Brevity>>>romantic. :)

Aww,don't stay down,they'll have a wholesale market for you and for me,someday.

Cheerio!

Nothing Like J.Everything.

2008-05-01T15:01:00.004+05:30

1st of May and a second post already!
A conversation b/w me and Syrup.

seraph: work
J: today's may day.how can u work?
J: i'm like friggin pissed off.no school today
J: i haven't anything else to do except going to school
seraph: anywho how is tht little fella?
J: i hate staying at home
J: juno is okhayJ: and there are like 3 tests a week
J: and u gotta get a 20 outta 25 to save ur ass
J: and u gotta come home go to tutions and come back and study
J: then eat and study
J: and sleep for 4 hrs
J: and then go to school
J: write tests
J: and then u gotta work on ur mindblowingly tedious
J: job
J: project
J: and then you gotta get snide remarks abt all u do
J: it's like
J: i'm alive only for the standard jokes i get to laugh at from 2 of my frnds in school
J: digital ppl-i hardly meet
J: the ones i love talking to are pissed at me
J: and i cleared off my list
J: a few stay invisible 24*7
J: it's like home=dead!
J: i hate the way life's going on
J: fun=zilch.
J: romance=zilch.
J: tv=zilch.
J: friends=zippo.
J: secrets=no1 to stare with
J: *share
J: problem=who gives a fuck abt yours?
J: weather=getting roasted
J: body=perspiring 24*7
J: ARGH!!
J: *sighs* syrup.carry on with ur work.
J: now i have an eco. class to attend
J: i gotta come back home
J: and study for tomorrow's test
J: and what i get from it?unecessary sarcasm
J: sayonara.

-_-
I have learnt to hate home by now,except for the pup that lives in it.No one's been rude to me,no one's been fighting.It's like what have I to do at home except for the school texts to read?I watch a little bit of TV and I hear shouts from all sides,more like noise of approching frothy waves,not harmonious for me,the voices say "Enough of TV!".I listen to music and then the same voices boom out loud "Enough of music!" and when I play with the pup the voices say "He's not gonna get you into a good college!"
When I sign in to my messenger,there are cold and distant messages to read and to reply to,some don't bother leaving any,some promised not to talk.Rylynn,only Rylynn makes my day.You get a phone call and they ask "are you studying?",you get a 10 in a shock test[note:not surprise],literally a shock-test and they say,"is that what have you been studying all the time?"Party?NO!Only for half an hour?Still,NO!
What's wrong with a li'l bit of fun?One word:NO!You got piles of homework to be done and also tests to study for,and when you are not going parallelly you're a goner!
A li'l of creative writing?If you think,you'll get yourself into the bill of fame for being creative artificer which you are not,you think too much.Don't.
Too beat,take a nap?Drink GluconD and then get back to study.
Why aren't you talking to me?Sorry,is someone talking to me?A 'nobody' talking to me?
Huh?Not a hint of self-respect apparently.
Elucidate?fuck off.
*Sighs*.Hi?Bad mood,bye.
A day at Shillong,please mummy?And you want me to write your exams?
Purkayastha,bad,bad!Like real bad!Why?
Home alone:At the end of the day,a puff or two and stout[encoded].
Sonny,let's get married,boy?Say tomorrow?Committed.
Enjoyment='M' and 'U'.I.Love.You.Girls.Godammed.Much.And.Yes.Rylynn.TOO!
Rest,why do you even need it?
Sayonara.

When I'm Blanked Out.

2008-05-01T00:43:00.006+05:30

I entreat you Mr.God,to give them half an eye to figure out what it is about.
Reader,[no reader for me]i'm sad.Boo!
Some moron pilfered my confidence,my IQ,my self-respect,my heart.Too petty a thief he is.The biggest moron ever,he's got perfect acuity,he's got a nice li'l head,possibly everything I don't possess,so not flawless,so spiteful,so dominating,so like an Indian male,and yet so likeable.Pilferage?That too what's not of your kind?
Mr.God,don't uplift me beyond my hopes.
B'bye :)

'Thank You's

2008-04-30T19:07:00.006+05:30

Dear Josephites,
Would you please agree to the fact that I'm thanking you,without being skeptical?So well,firstly,thank you for showing that avidity of a dog[no sarcasm] when it came to reading the Yearbook cum Magazine.Really,you stole my heart,even if you happened to fake it[in case you did] .
This book is a dream in form of words,my dream and when you flip through the pages,it's my[and also others']dreams that you are visualizing.There were so...soooo many puerile yet wonderfully imaginative works that I had gone through,I'm so sorry,if yours wasn't in the final copy and when I say that I don't mean those were worthless,maybe yours wasn't the best[don't think you aren't the best]and that keeps happenning,even with me,specially in my romantic life when I see chicks uglier than toads and dumber than Vibhor[think Roadies] dating some real nice chap. :X =P

This work that I was adduced is the best form of work,I have done.Secondly,I thank you for appreciating my own articles,hope you didn't think that I took the liberty of an editor cum compiler to get mine into the book.No,the others chose mine while I theirs,not because of friendship,I assure you.You,Josephites,got me thinking whether I should take writing seriously but then my colloquial style won't give me any award,so chuck.I never had so much of faith in me,until you came and said "Good job,famous author!".Thanks for demanding more of my work,yes,I will show you.My poems,ahh,my poems,I never knew you'd like those too and also,the polygot book got many others noticed too,I'm glad.

When it came to the mistakes,honestly,the whole crew worked really hard to make sure nothing gets wrong and you people didn't dishearten and discourage us,the lenity you showed in the minor mistakes,the way you overlooked the goodness over the badness....how could I thank you.
That's it.A GRAND GENEROUS 'THANK YOU'.
Love.
J.

For the editorial team and the rest of the magazine crew

Now that it's seriously over,I hope and hope the the days would rewind,till the time from where we began.Arguments,tensions,strains,that beginning I mean.We were not even sure that this issue of Juvenilia would be 'The Juvenilia' of the decade.I mean honestly,how far did we imagine?A bad cover,some sub-standard Juvenilia and sigh.Although a teacher is acting REAL stupid,I meant heights of stupidity,everything else went nice.True,at 1 at night,when I'd have a test to study for and a pile of articles waiting to be read,I'd almost be in tears and hate it.But that time was worth it,it's an accomplishment which was meant to make us confident,now look,we are over-confident.So we must party over this sometime later,as for now,kicking off with major kicks in your abdomen and love to cure them.
Sayonara.Love.

Smarty Idea For Smarty People.

2008-04-26T21:01:00.004+05:30

For those Emo-Goth out there,yes you "Nobody loves me,I want to die,I want to slit my wrist"...this post is EXCLUSIVELY for you.

Agreed to Devend's comment,my blog is downright outrageous.I'll just sarcrifice my Oh-So-Lady-Like-Modesty for a better cause,for a hilarious cause,to show you the light,to enlighten you with a new way of committing suicide.

Incident:A 51 year old Australian...umm sorry, 'strai-lian man,named John Paul,with a pea-sized human brain[even kangaroos are smarter,you'll find that out when you are done with reading]...so this dumbass,filled up condoms with a narcotic preparation of cannabis which is as good as weed and is known as hashish.He then swallowed some 60 condoms stuffed with hashish and then he got internal infection because the condoms burst in his intestine and died thus.
Vottay smart aleck!

It wasn't an attempt to suicide apparently,but you could always use that idea because nobody loves you,nobody cares and yes,because you need to die.This is slow but outright effective.

He had been smuggling drugs to a party in Thailand.Guess what?He got me thinking,I don't have a hint on why he swallowed it up with CONDOMS?

That's right,WTF?

The Light In Our Dark Lives.

2008-04-26T00:31:00.011+05:30

Dear Loveable Sister Margarette FC Subba,

That is not a long name at all.I'm writing this to express my love for you and to tell the world why they should idolize you.

Sr.,you are the wonderwoman of my life.I really don't know why,they've got a cartoon wonderwoman when there's a human among us.

I want to tell you that,you've never been rude to us,nor our parents and that you know well how to mind your tongue and never tell us "SHUT UP YOUR BIG FAT MOUTH".No,you never were rude.You never walk around with a stick to hit "BIG GIRLS" in front on the primary kids,making them look like apes laughing in a very laughable matter.You never throw absent letters at people's faces.You never even insult any guardian.You pray to God and will make it to heaven since we are all blessing you.I can't take too much of your brim-full love.You provide buses for class XII,very comfortable buses where we've got ample space to sit or stand,where it doesn't feel like being in a menagerie.You don't keep 50% profit from anything,say from the cost of books or copies or even my magazine because a fraud and a glutton for money you aren't.

When I grow up,i don't want to be my mother,I want to be you.Like a real god-loving nun who's the least liverish among everyone in school.Like a real woman.The teachers don't fear you.When I grow up to be you,I'll write an autobiography[6 Volumes],where a whole volume named "Megahertz:The Original Frequency Of Love,Care,Intellingence,Not-Stupidity,Not-Dumbness,Not-Foul Mouthedness",will be dedicated to you.My friends have also decided upon writing one book on you "How To Save Yourself From A Not-A-Polar-Bear"***.

We really love you.Oh,yes,we do.Please don't read my blog until the time I pass out from this school,oh wait,you'll be busy loving us. :D

I love you.

Yours,

***Polar Bears are said to be very cute,such that you want to go and hug them and say coochie coo,until the time they dine on you.The theory was pointed out by me to 'M' and 'U'.

P.S.-Did i mention that i gave up being sarcastic?Like say totally!

Green Green Beauty Queen!

2008-04-21T14:50:00.005+05:30

The new issue of RD came in a parcel today and as I flipped through the pages that's the first thing that sort of 'allured' my eyes :D

I couldn't,absolutely coudnt abstain myself from blogging this and sarcasm is almost an innate impulse within me,when I get a chance to laugh at aaah..."high class celebrities" or some infamous person too,for that matter.

Pity!Liz Hurley ain't a blonde.

So anyway,those of you call 'a bit of lusting' an oxymoron gotta be some philosopher,some saint,some priest,some nun,whatever.I promise to write a hagiography on you.

For the rest,let me remind you she's a 'HIGH-CLASS ENGLISH WOMAN' and Hugh Grant is SO-NOT her style. :D

Don't you go telling her:"Brush up your English, high-class English Woman".

You so won't do it!

Lady,you say it best,when you say nothing at all. (:

Mr.Editor,Mr. Cartoonist-you are the frigging awesome!

Another thing that caught my eye was something what Miss South Carolina said.

When asked why 20% of Americans can't locate America on a map.This was her response:

"I personally believe that US Americans are unable to do so beacuse,uh,some people out there in our nation don't have maps,and,uh,I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and,uh,the Iraq everywhere like,such as and I believe that they should,our education over here in the US should help the US,uh,should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries,so we'll be able to build up our future for us."

I wonder if she knows names of the many more existing countries SPECIALLY India,since,uh,The George Bush,didn't,uh,bomb the India. :D

Now you know why beauty queens aren't stupid and you also know the reason of their not being stupid.

Cheerio!

p.s.-The author isn't an expert either,when it comes to English. :D

A day well spent...

2008-04-20T23:51:00.003+05:30

This post,is not gonna be a sarcastic post or even a laughable one.So if you think my humour-graph is downward sloping,so be it!
This day was well spent,starting with awesome silky hair,correctly solved Differentiation,reading someone else's love letter and presenting the critical appreciation to the clean shaven guy[who got suspected to have removed his hair by Anne French]who had written it.Attending the AWESOM-EST party of the year,assuring people about my ethnicity,talking a lot and spending a lot of time with...yea whatever.Getting appreciative comments for a nice face[the hall had dim lights],and "CUTE!CUTE!CUTE!CUTE" assuring comments,again spending a whole evening with...yea whatever.
Laughing at the blatant frank avowal of...yea whatever.Making you google avowal :D
Forgetting to take the camera.
Telling mom about the leaked love letter and realizing thus,ugly or pretty out of 48 students in my class 41 has a boy friend to think about,while I fall among the leftovers,because of the list of criteria.
Getting my photos clicked in...yea whatever's camera,and then deciding to meet again to see the pictures,just for the sake of it.
.........And Boom!back to square one. ):

Cheerio!

p.s.-i forgot to warn you:this is pathetically boring. :D

Doodle 3:Showerhuff Episode

2008-04-19T11:42:00.003+05:30

Clickforthelargerversion.*Sighs*whydoIhavetotellyoueverything?

For Neeru:

~And once again Showerhuff,shaved your day!~

Doodle 2:Showerhuff Episodes

2008-04-18T22:51:00.008+05:30

For Rajeev:
Seduced by his suicidal blog,Showerhuff designs a special dagger to rescue Emo-Goth from their gallows.
~Showerhuff shaves the day!~

For Neeru:

....and Showerhuff learns water management from her EVE book and stores the water in her Johad[Updated Version].Later she uses it to grow wheat and feed the poor.

~Showerhuff shaves the day!~

For Harsh[ad.]:

And yet again...~Showerhuff,shaves the day.how?O_o~

Doodle 1

2008-04-17T14:50:00.002+05:30

Initially I tried doodling myself.
got the eyes right.
But she looks less like me and more like a manly female.LOL.

Whatever matters...is definitely not the skin.

2008-04-16T23:53:00.003+05:30

When I was born,I was black.
When I got bruised,I was black.
When I felt like puking,I was black.
When I got married,I was black.
When I died,I was still...BLACK.

When you were born,you were red.
When you got bruised,you were purple.
When you felt like puking,you were green.
When you got married,you were pink.
When you died,you were grey.

And still...still you fucking Gora,you got 'em freaking nerves,'em fronts to call me coloured?!

~Updates~

2008-04-11T01:07:00.006+05:30

I have been drawing a Tibetan flag,all evening.
Why?You'll get 5 $ if you answer this,and 5$ more to figure out that I'm poor resource-wise.
~Why does the blog look like an unnoticeable online diary?~
*After-effects of Aaron's-journal reading*

I SWEAR,I SWEAR,I'll come up with something less-lamer than this,next time.
Con Amore Losers.
(:

Emotional Shit-Part 2

2008-04-07T20:10:00.002+05:30

He is "a certain kind of Indian male, overbearing, vain, self-centred - yet, for all that, not unlikeable".......

Sciolism On Barbie

2008-03-28T13:09:00.006+05:30

NEFARIOUS BARBIE

Oh,look the ugly bitch has a monster roasted-faced boyfriend.No actually it's the antibabie.com goon which rapes barbiesto the point of raping their eyes out of their sockets,those ugly bitches are worth it.I dunno how buying-barbies become endemic within the school.HOW?HOW can kids love,ugly bitchy dolls with plastic hands and legs and leopard skin patterned knickers and a fake Louis Vitton bag and plastic,breakable fake Dior sunglasses?

THE HANGED BARBIE

It is in the popular stores,they recon that after lesbian barbie,cheerleader barbie,pregnant barbie,there's a need for a beheaded barbie.Personally I wouldn't want you to waste your dollars on it.

Here's how you can maufacture your own beheaded barbie:

#Step 1:Grab your own plastic barbie or your friend's or sister's barbie.

#Step 2:Curl your fingers around her neck.

#Step 3:Snap it.

#Step 4:Tell your crying friend/sister that the barbie had a tumour in her brainless head so you had to operate it.

However,if you start to cry,you need to:

##Step 1:You need petrol for libation.

##Step 2:Light a matchstick,drop it over yourself,and RIP.

See?It's easy!

The Ice-cream melted.

2008-03-28T12:15:00.006+05:30

The title has got nothing to do with my post.

No,i want to write a story.
I really want to.
The story will be about Clickety-Clickety-Click.
Hmm,that's right a cursor.
Once upon a time there was clock,which ticked.And since tick sounds familiar to click.A fat bum-face,retarded boy named Bill,invented a cursor!THE PROUD OWNER OWNER OF THE CURSOR,he was.Every other dimwit envied him.The local witch named,Goddess Of Plagiarism-Queen J,hated him for his new invention.And since the villagers called Bill,The God of Invention,she'd blaspheme openly about him.Bill thought,Pope Benedict's benediction might help,so he cried "Eeeeek!Haaaalp!",oh yes he did.

You will die Bill,the Queen said.

No,you will,Bill replied.

You can't copy me,I'm the Goddess Of Plagiarism,not you,she said.

Okhay,he said.

But you can save yourself from dying under my spells,only give away your cursor to me,she said.

No,no,no!You can't have my cursor,I brought him up,like he's my little brother,Bill said.

Okhay then,Bhaad mein jaa,Queen said.

Bill returned home to feed cerelac to his cursor,he'd later surf through the blogs in internet,he thought.In the meantime,the witch created her own blog,and then wrote the link to the blog in a yellow coloured paperand posted the letter to Bill's mailbox.Bill saw the link,it was kind of ostentatious so he got attracted to it,and typed it in his address bar and hit enter with his cursor!AND AS SOON AS THE BLOG PAGE APPEARED,the cursor fell in love with the sparkled fairy in it.
And he refused to come back to Bill.
And he became the Queen's cursor.
Bill went to hell.
Queen never died.
Cursor is bored.
And by the way,he was named Clickety-Clickety-Click.
~WHATTA NICE STORY~
~Moral of the Story:Always write nice stories.~

That's It!

2008-03-24T13:40:00.003+05:30

Picture 1 shows that he got a bath.

Picture 2 shows his nanoism[if that were to be a word].

But these pictures are just the happier phases of my life:bathing him and photographing his nanoid face.

And shit as affable it is to say is as easy to do at any time of the day,provided there's always a cleaner,24*7.Let me rephrase the sentence if you happen to read this lifeless blog.

I AM THE CLEANER OF THIS MESS!

What I don't understand is how can a little pup's poo weigh greater than himself.Okhay I exaggerated a bit too much but that was the most presentable circumlocution.

Cleaning faeces FOUR times a day isn't as easy as watching four movies at a stretch[p.s.- provided that they aren't bollywood bumpers].

I look so happy all the time,infact I have to,I've got a brand new pup.My life must be fun!

Yea exactly!It's a lot of fun,to be in the job that you hardly imagine about,and even when you try imagining the job,the image stays behind in the negative,you really don't get to see it and when you do,those could be called hallucinations.

I love that little thing a'right and not poo-ing in the bathroom instead merry-making on the floor for a li'l pup is a venial error.I love him,still.It's just that cleaning up all the time,isn't fun and if it IS,that doesn't last for too long,you eventually die yawning.

ABOUT ROCA:Finally,I AM ADDICTED!No,not to cigarretes,not to entine,not to a hunk,BUT TO ROCA!30 out of 24 hours do I think about my own Roca brand.That's about Roca.

Happy Life to you.

Con Amore.

About Him

2008-03-17T10:25:00.005+05:30

So the furball,is getting used to us.[Lets not call him Fudgeball,gets pretty prolix and starts smelling of ice-cream and chocolate syrup!There,my taste glands are already starting to push against my temptations]

I found a new synonym for him.In the kewlest,hawtest rappah style,ma windows media playa style-JdogG.There seems some surplus frisson abt JdogG,only if I could manage to put lots o' bling around his paws and neck.

Juno's got only 5-6 teeth,which he flaunts at every possible situation,while yawning,while chewing MY sandal[why me?],et cetera.

He has been kind enough to poo under my bed twice,pee on my bed thrice.Boys will be boys.

And,I think that I won't be left unemployed all my life afterall because I have already become an official dog poop cleaner.

He's got his own bed to sleep,but he prefers mine.He also tried chewing my hair,yummy!yummy![wtf?]

And I have to leave now because he and I are going to the vet!YAY! [-_-]

P.S.-For all those,whom I love,which is basically most of you,please don't mind if I'm pampering the woolly thing too much,and boring you with his description and loving you a little less.For even though I love Juno a little more than you,I love you no less.Stop feeling insecured. *:D

Con Amore,

Talk About Calibre

2008-03-16T04:16:00.004+05:30

Nobody in the world gets to keep me,*ME* awake.
Nah,not even exams or the gravest form of worry.
As they say,i can get robbed or even kidnapped albeit while sleeping.
Completely unaware,still sleeping.
AND TALK ABOUT CALIBRE!Because this little dog did the impossible.
Would you believe me,if I told you that,I haven't slept the whole night?
The puppy sojourned my bed,imagined a toilet seat on it,peed on my tee,on my bed,aking wonderful circle patterns.
I don't know what feels so felicitous at mid night,but this puppy have been pawing me since 12:30 a.m. to play with it.
So I did.
Then tried sleeping.It gave indications for shitting.
I took him to the bathroom showing didactic presentations,on how humans shit.
Only if he'd copy me.
Surprise!surprise!He already attended his needs under my bed.He still doesn't have any sign of slumber in his eyes apparently.
And at 4:00 p.m.,I'm trying to play with it,and tire him out.
Only if,he'd get weary,and my eyelids would stop drooping.
Sayonara!

....almost the end of it.

2008-03-07T14:04:00.005+05:30

Right now,I'm going through the worst and the extreme phase of 'BAD MOOD'.
Damn!Even a tornado or a hunger strike couldn't bring so much of destruction in my life!This is a major castastrophe and right now,i'm not in the state of writing an essay on it,instead i'll just put up the conversation which summarizes the situation.

seraph:oye chaman ! :-

J:chaman bahar? :P
i uploaded some vidoes.
those were like my best songs back in classes 6 and 7.
shit man!they are SO girly!

seraph:But i m happy .... atleast those will get ur estrogen levels high :P

J:
*sighs*
right now,my adrenaline level is high.
you know what?
my maths paper was a total sucker!
syllabus:28 chapters
done:20 chapters
left two major chapters:inverse trigo and integration.
the whole question paper was basically based on those 2 chapters.
the question paper intially look like it was on 80 marks,but today somebody discovered that Sec-I was of 80 marks and sec-II of 20,that makes 100 marks.
and i merrily attempted 50 marks[thinking it was out of 80],cuz the rest 30 was based on those maha-fucked up chapters.
do i even deserve a funeral? [:x]
and i hate typing long scraps [:x]

J:
my mood's like fused!
mamma electrician and papa electrician considered the length of the chapters.
And gave me concession.
I have been calculating and re-calculating my marks again and again,
and everytime i come up with new answers.
i gave up sleeping[yes read!i gave up sleeping]
and eating.something pretty unexpected of me.
if you r going to say 'chalega,paas ho jayegi',DON'T!absolutely don't.
cuz this time i'm not persiflaging.
my paper basically looks like a constipated pig's ass!
and my marks will look like faggots!
i had a deal with mom,she shouldn't harm my body whatsover.
i'll either commit suicide by over-eating or over-sleeping.
*sighs*,my mood's filament is only defective!
okhay,now i guess,i'll staple my mouth[but i'm not talking am,i?
don't wish me luck,in your next scrap,from the bottom of your heart.
and on second thoughts,how can hearts have bottoms?

seraph:
look shit happens ...... if u pass ... pray to god .... and offer a nariyal .... if you dont .... threaten ur princi ... that u will suicide ... if there is a major fuck up ... i'll handle it ... u need not to worry :)

J:
and exactly how will 'you' handle it?
picked it up from 'main hoon na'?
main hoon na?
all that u can expect,is me deleting my accounts all over again.
and swearing not to socialize with cool people anymore,cuz as the saying goes 'touch pitch and be defiled' :-
*sighs* a major blow to my career...
...and romantic life too[:x],cuz if my fiance demands for my report card someday,that'll be the end of it.
A MAJOR BREAKUP gossip for the ladies.

and if you are thinking of leaving a comment on this,don't!i don't need any sympathies,any hugs and kisses and any 'awwww'-s from you becasue you know it and even i know it,that it can't be fixed by any of those!

"Sinistral"

2008-03-03T01:51:00.003+05:30

Being left-handed is like being in a secret club. We have our own bizarre initialization rituals, such as learning how to write "the wrong way." We pay our dues every day, in terms of the extra effort that we must make to live in a right-handed world. When we encounter another lefty, we immediately have something in common. The club is shrouded in secrecy, because we rarely mention the topic to our right-handed friends.
For fun, I started making a list of the aspects of everyday life that are geared towards right-handed people. Lefties will probably recognize most things on this list; righties might find some of these things surprising. Anyways, I hope you enjoy reading it! :-)
• We have to use special "lefty" scissors. [I don’t do that.However,I hold my scissor,brush,spoon,etc. with my left hand]
• We write from left to right, so that our hand smears the fresh ink across the page. (Righties' hands do not touch the ink until they get to the next line, so the ink has a few seconds to dry.) [sheesh!Those traumas,during the exam.I’ll write the whole damned thing also so perfectly only to see that the left side of my palm smeared the ink,all over the page.]
• If you grab a coffee mug with your left hand, the picture will be facing away from you. (Righties get to look at the picture while they drink.)
• Lefties have little choice where they get to sit at large dinners, lest they bump elbows with a righty. [Eveytime!every single time,it looks like an elbow war is going on]
• Lefties have little choice where they get to sit in lecture halls. Often the only left-handed desks are on the end of the row. Lefties can't sit in the middle, unless they want to have a hard time writing.[During every dictation,wither I’ll lose my patience or the person on my left]
• When writing in a 3-ring binder (or spiral notebook), the rings get in the way of our hands when we write on the front side of the paper. (Righties have this problem when writing on the back of the paper, but this is easier to avoid.)
• Many "commonly" used keys are on the right side of the keyboard. For example: backspace, enter, arrows, and numeric keypad. [in addition to it,nobody stiches the buttons of my school-shirt on the left,so everytime I fumble while putting on the buttons]
• Computer mice are generally set up so that the "main" button is the index finger for righties. If you want to use the mouse in your left hand, the "main" button is under your less-adept ring finger. [I tried real hard on that,I’m sort of ambidextrous now]
• Bike gears are on the right side of the bike. This means that if you carry the bike on your right shoulder, the gears face outward. If you put the bike on your left shoulder, you'll get grease stains all over your clothes.
• Bike helmet chin-strap buckles are easier to release with your right hand.
• Hand-held jigsaws blow sawdust off to the right side. If you hold it in your right hand, it blows the sawdust away from you. If you hold it in your left hand, it blows sawdust in your face.
• Drill presses have the handle (to lower the drill) on the right side. It's impossible (and dangerous!) to try to hold the wood with your right hand while controlling the drill with your left hand.
• Lefties have to get their own "left-handed" boomerangs, golf clubs, hockey sticks, and baseball mitts. This means we usually can't borrow our friends' equipment.
• Car stick-shifts are on the right side of the driver. Less frequently used controls, such as headlight switches, are on the left side.
• High-end headphones (with only one cord) have the cord on the left side. The cord gets in the way more for left-handed writers.
• BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) entrance/exit gates take the ticket on your right side.
• When pants only have one back pocket, it's always on the right side. (Lefties have to fumble around for their wallet with their "bad" hand.) [thankfully,mine have two backpockets.]
• Mini propane camping stoves are designed so that you can hold it with your left hand and pump up air pressure with your right, even if the stove is still hot. It's hard to hold it with your right hand and pump with your left hand without burning your right hand.
• Piano keys are arranged so the more rapidly-changing higher notes are played with the right hand. For beginners, the base clef (left hand) is often optional.
• Camera shutter buttons are often on the right. Pressing the button with our less-dextrous hand makes it harder for lefties to hold the camera steady while taking a picture. [yea,sometimes the photos get shaken]
• "Ergonomic" chairs usually have the controls on the right side.
• When firing an automatic or semi-automatic rifle, the ejection port blows casings past your face.
• When holding a pen or pencil in your right hand, you can read any lettering on it, but in your left hand, the lettering is upside-down.[exactly!like almost mirror images]
[Courtesy:Internet]

MY ADDITIONS:

I got pretty famous since the starting of my school life because everytime I was an alien,who gripped the pen in a strange fashion,like curling the whole hand,typically.Sometimes,there are public demands,like:-“Please write my name and show me” , “How do you colour?”, “You write that way?Always?Write it again.” Everytime I passed to another class, the first thing that the class teacher would come know is “About the girl who writes with her left-hand.” They’d get all enthusiastic to make me write with my right hand,to the point of having me practice handwriting daily.When I used my left hand more as an infant,my folks got shit scared[shit scared?i mean wtf?].I was taken to a Dr. to find out if I was normal.I’m dyslexiac,not a schizophrenic either,unlike what most reasearchers point out.I’m just a slow coach,when it comes to writing.I need to make two efforts while writing,not smearing the ink and writing fast.Eventually,I flop. “Stares” of people made me do something against my rule.I eat with right-hand.And me eating is quite a scene.However,when it comes to spoons,I just dunno how to hold it with my right-hand.
But then being a left-hander isn’t bad.It is like feeling,that I’m so different than everyone else,like I’m God’s favourite child,atleast he has made an effort to get me noticed.

Happy Transaction Day

2008-02-14T14:45:00.001+05:30

Absurd Character Analyzation

2008-02-07T20:23:00.001+05:30

The kid is a quiet one,she can be the monitress of the class,she must be a scholargirl,weak kids should sit with her.
The kid actually can't talk or doesn't wanna make an ass of herself.Her leadership qualities maybe close to null,and she might be equally dumb when it comes to intelligence.
The kids blabbers too much and is a back-bencher,she's the don of theclass,other kids must stay away from her.
The blabbering kid must be actually making sense when she jabbers more than the teacher.Back-benchers necessarily donot flunk out.Analysis points out that they are the intelligent ones.
She bunks classes,she's bold!
And then she tops tops...i guess she cheated.I dunno how can someone cheat and top,have you any idea?
The girl is liverish,she's bad.
Liverish kids may also have a heart of gold,as if you have got a characterometer?
She talks about sperms and vagina!She's the whore of the class.
The girl actually knows more biology than you,asshole!
She speaks English,not her mother tongue.SHOW OFF!
She's good at that language,bothers you?Don't remember the time you told you made a FOX PAS in your English paper instead of a faux pas?
The girl wears fashionable clothes,what a stinking rich spoilt brat!
We know you love wearing granny clothes,but she's actually sensibl-ER than you not to wear them,you jealous twit!
She hates to study,let's not mingle with bad girls,my mummy told me so.
Hell!She knows other things better than you.Like,did you know aboutyour mother's non-existing fragile X syndrome?Oh you don't know,that'sright,no wonder you deserve a fourpenny one to judge people.
And lastly,J is the worst girl ever!
Yea okhay,fuck you!

The Mall

2008-02-04T21:18:00.001+05:30

So we've got this new mall,with branded clothes,in Silly.There are individual shops too,scattered all around Silly,but this new one is the biggest and costliest one where one tiny coffee shop has to pay 30k as its rent.
And Sillygurian people would stab me to death,if i told you that they are a bunch of assholes,beacause that's what they are.I'm a migrator,and i don't know the reason of my migration.And ofcourse they'd bury me alive ONLY IF they located my blog,and after locating read it,which i doubt they can,because a blog is unknown to them...and unknown,God.Oh well,then i am supposed to be a bigger God.
So anyway,we've got this mall,and 'em Silly people are treating it as a monument,they've never been out of this place.They were born here,fed here,married here,and they make their kids here,the most they can do right now is come to the new mall,with large families,everyone holding picnic baskets,the children with water bottles around their neck,some clinging to the mother,some crying.No i'm not spiteful,it's just that i loathe this place,like i loathe going to school.So they go to the mall,the men walk ahead,with solemn looks they point out to their family members the various shops.They look around bewildered.They get astonished to see the capsule-lifts.And ofcourse when it comes to going to the upper floor or coming down,there are concrete steps...but no,they'll use the escalator...question is,how?First the man of the house will get fully padded,and perhaps wear helmets and cautiously give it a try.After they succeed incessently ,they'll teach their kids.The kids cope up with it fast.Next,it's the turn of the females,they'll pray to God,pray for their safety,they'll grab their husbands' arms but never take a step towards the ghastly-automatic-sinisterly-stairs.After an hour the wives decide that concrete steps are the best,and the others give in.Then the auto-rickshaw man,who they hire for the day paying 50 bucks an hour,come hurrying,saying they need to leave,he's got an emergency call.So they all leave.Outside the gate they'll click a photo as a memento,and perhaps,several years later,when an Earth Quake destroys the mall,they'll point to a photo phrame and tell their grandchildren,"Once upon a time,Silly had a palace too,and I had gone there."
And the worst part of it is,they aren't illiterate,they are like the frog in the well.And i am not a social snob,i just feel helpless about the fact,that they are the people i live with.

Emotional Shit-Part 1

2008-02-03T12:03:00.002+05:30

....And the train rolled on,every day
Hundreds of people coming or going or running away
Goodbye,Goodbye!
I haven't seen you again,bright boy at the carriage window,
Waving to me calling,
But I've loved you all these years and looked for you everywhere,
In citites and villages,beside the sea,
In the mountains,in crowds at distant places;
Returning always to the forest's silence,
To watch the windows of some passing train....

Umm...DON'T LAUGH AT IT!

2008-01-24T15:50:00.001+05:30

Reader's Note:I donot know how to rhyme.Seriously.But when i see others rhyme,kids rhyme better than me,then my soul gets grabbed by some poetic afflatus though most of the time I'm basically a dry prosaic person.Winds,thunders,romance,rain,flowers......I'm unmoved by them all.Anyway,when i rhyme,i like to keep it as a secret BUT one character blackmailed me into putting this here.I know that you rhyme better than me BUT PLEASE don't laugh at my rhyme.
Silent laughters is permitted.

For Meat's Sake

I walked past the crumbly home,
Past the blue dome,
Past little boys flying kites,
Past bluejays on their flights.
On my way came the butcher's shop,
The butcher had his eyes on his goats,incase rogues rob.
Nobody could rob them,except of their lives,
Which the butcher did often,with his sharp curved knives.
Then,came a man and said,"I want fresh meat."
The butcher replied calmly,"Sir,please take a seat."
He picked up a kid as per the customer's choice,
Sharpened his already sharp knife,making screeching noise.
With malice in his eyes,he jostled with the ranting kid.
I shut my eyes and walked on,A little later,I heard the kid mourn.
For a last time did the kid bleat,
This time I felt the Earth tremble beneath my feet.
Then,silence creeped in,like a slithering snake,
All of this,just for meat's sake?

-J[15.1.08]

there you go.

Rally

2008-01-19T07:37:00.001+05:30

And till Thursday I kept saying,"YAY!WE'LL GO FOR RALLY!" in a singsong monotone.
Yea,okhay.we went went for a rally.
So we had our rally yesterday,suspensing traffic wherever we went but,seriously I dunno the reason of our peace rally.It was probably for the minority and the poor missionary schools and though I want to be a Pariah[for the amount of facilities they get] I'm sad to say that,I'm a godammed high-class Hindu.And ofcourse our school is one of the richest in Silla,but yea we rallied gathering a whole lot of obnoxious curses...."Salle,rasta bandh kar diya!!" and et cetera.
Our muckamuck dear principal with her cliche`d,soft appealing voice asked us to learn the objectives of our rally INCASE the media people attack us.Nobody bothered.Nobody bothered to read what our placard said either.
So our dear Sister Principal got the most number of students for which the Fathers thanked her.
Ofcourse Fathers and Sister....well....
So we got mucky right from the mid-way and at times the rally acted like "Silla Marathon,08".Hopeless students started running creating an olio.I haven't an idea why.And just when my stomach started howling pathetically,the rally got over,FINALLY,phew!

But anyway,the court has said that leading a rally with students is illegal,now you can switch on to your TV and see our dear,i-put-up-a-big-fake-smile-and-am-generally-rude Sister principal anxious to atone for bringing 400 students in rally to fullfill her own interest.
Cheers!

Hum Ladki Dekhne Aaye Hai

2008-01-14T23:50:00.001+05:30

So my neighbour Bill and I have the same maid,or household helper-whichever word you prefer.
And she's as old as my mom or Bill's,and is a granny already.[please note:mine or Bill's mom isn't 50 years old,if that pea-sized brain of yours assumed so].
So this lady named something,I know not of,known worldwide as 'Mashi' has a daughter of 17.
No,Bill didn't get her pregnant,how could you even think of it?So the daughter named 'Nandita'
is supposed to be getting married to a driver named something.And he has already gone through the "Hum Ladki Dekhne Aaye Hai" phase once and has undergone through that phase for the second time,and eventually both the times it was with the same girl.Yes,i'm talking about Nandita.The first time,he met her,she already started acting like his wife,forcing a sweet down his mother's throat.Poor,poor mother!Somehow her red sari and golden coloured jewellery was a drastic contrast to her umm....complexion.I'm not a rascist by any means,it's just that "The less,the better".So she got rejected the first time after exchanging phone numbers.

Anyway,he came to meet Nandita again today with his whole family,at Bill's house.She wore the
red sari and her golden-coloured jewellery,and dyed her hair,mahogany.[ewwww!]I and Bill were,so happy,everything was so nice.Bill kept murmuring this throughout "Jai Maa Kali,Jai Maa Kali,Tere Vachaan,Na jaye khabi khali".If your head is not entirely vacuum,you'll understand what that vagabond actually meant.No,he's not a rascist either,he's got a big,black dog.

So yea,this driver fella went to the loo at a point of time,and came back as quickly as he went.And trust me,Bill's got a strong binocular vision.And the next thing he says is "CHECK YOUR FLY!"[translated].The driver looks down,humiliated,his face as red as wild cherries,apparently
gloating and swearing to kill Bill at the noon of the night.He puts up a big fake smile and says "OH!" and pulls up his zip.
We all observe a minute of silence,everyone trying to supress his/her uncontrolled laughter.

But hopefully,they'll get married and live happily ever after.....
....and get the population even higher.
And yea,he says that he doesn't like Mahogany dye.

Untitled 2

2008-01-12T20:09:00.001+05:30

Yas!Yas!My people,my subjects,bend a little too low for your queen is here.
Say,All Hail Our Queen.
Okhay whatever.
So we had our display board today,on the topic "Children and Media".
And reader,if you happen to be my classmate,let me tell you,YELLOW TEAM IS ROTTEN WITH PUNKS.....except a few of the filtered ones.
Jeniffer-She's this ever-lifeless,ever-expressionless creature who is motionless too.she didn't make a chart!AND SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO HELP ME WITH THE MODEL!
Madhushree-The whispering joker who generally laughs at her own joke while the rest is mute.She was busy helping RED TEAM!for chrissake,RED TEAM?!?
Ankita Bose-famously known as oily,her chart was as pathetic as her oily,dirty hair!
Shayoni-oh yes!that's rt,she prolly massages masoline,all day long.Anter asked her to design the border of some chart with polka dots[HOW DARE YOU LAUGH?]and she draws a bunch of circles in a red coloured paper,instead of folding the paper several times and drawing one circle,and surprise surprise!she expects me to cut her bunch of circles?DUH!

SowemadeamodelofaCyberCafe` *beams* iwasalmostoutofbreathlikethis sentenceseemstobe.We stuck a couple of billboards and paper-humans smaller than the computers but still surfing the net.Humans can get REALLY desperate at times.
And,we[I and Anter,assisted by Sam] also made TV,radio, et cetera,and Tanvi and Amrita managed
the charts well.Ah yeah,and Famida Tasneem Nahar made a chart too[i have a ruppee due,for which she had been pestering me for months].
We finished before the other three teams and did "Jharoo Pochcha".
History of "Jharoo Pochcha":back in primary,when a kid would say on a Friday "I'll give you this tomorrow" or something dealing with tomorrow,the other kids would say "Okay come to school on Saturday to do "Jharoo Pochcha" ."And tada!today's a saturday!

Give me a valid reason for reading this post.
But anyway,yellow team did a wonderful job.
ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL.
Love.

p.s.-i almost forgot this rhyme:-
Yellow is our colour,
Victory is our name,
We have the power,
To win the game.

Answering Machine

2008-01-08T14:02:00.001+05:30

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Now you know what you have to do.
Weepers weep,
Sweepers sweep,
Please leave your message after the beep.

BEEP.

Untitled 1

2008-01-02T23:29:00.001+05:30

So,i'm trying to prepare my piece of shitwork,maybe first i'll just count how many blogs i have.three?just three?just to prove my lifelessness three blogs exist?Okhay so new year
*Nuke year
let more and more politicians die and WOW!maybe i'll stand for elections when we are freed of i-just-had-my-jailtime-politicians' clutches.
#rule one:i ban schools!
#rule two:okhay that's it.

okhay!so that was the first post,i hope you find it innovating just to read my posts to your li'l newborn babies,so they just fall asleep without any lullaby or being rocked.
truly yours.

Smash!Wham!Bang!

We're talking about DP here.

Because everything is so amazing!

60 billion problems. Then add three more.

A Megaloath post for the megaabhorred. (Hate is cliched)

Bitch+sonofabitch= is what you're looking for.

More Music!

I must prove my superiority.

Outright Creepy.

Things that grab my attention.

Things that fail to grab my attention.

A story to tell.

Take me home.

Too jobless.

Give me *raises eyes*

We're back!

WTF?

Winged Invaders.

People Are So [IRRITATINGLY] Like That-Part 3

People Are Like That-Part 2

Death On A Tuesday.Sounds like a poem?

If only. :'(

People Are Like That.

Freak Me Out!

*Sighs*

My Favourite Topic:Dogs.

Random Stuff[that you might be envious of]

Of Pests And AIDS.

Fest-2.

Fest.

Gobbledegook.

This Is How I Do It.

Doodle 8:I Do It Everytime,Ranju.So?

The July Post:Tagged.

Happy Golden Jubilee To Blog Babe!

Doodle 8:Crushed.

Doodle 7:Matter Of Fact.

Autobiography:Not A Hyperbole.

Bull Crap-Part 2[The emo] and 'Other Matters'

Bullcrap:Part 1[The General]

Quotable Life Of Good Gracious ME!

Bickering

Doodle 6:Revelation.

Friends,Lovers and Yetis...

"Is" It Doodle 5?

Doodle 4:Heat the Beat.Swap!

Stormy Morning Blues And DEEP DEEP Crimson's'

Nothing Like J.Everything.

When I'm Blanked Out.

'Thank You's

Smarty Idea For Smarty People.

The Light In Our Dark Lives.

Green Green Beauty Queen!

A day well spent...

Doodle 3:Showerhuff Episode

Doodle 2:Showerhuff Episodes

Doodle 1

Whatever matters...is definitely not the skin.

~Updates~

Emotional Shit-Part 2

Sciolism On Barbie

The Ice-cream melted.

That's It!

About Him

Talk About Calibre

....almost the end of it.

"Sinistral"

Happy Transaction Day

Absurd Character Analyzation

The Mall

Emotional Shit-Part 1

Umm...DON'T LAUGH AT IT!

Rally

Hum Ladki Dekhne Aaye Hai

Untitled 2

Answering Machine

Untitled 1

Give me raises eyes

Sighs